Daughter // Tyler Seguin

0.9

We finally get to the hotel at four o'clock, I help Sophia out of her car seat and she grabs her small backpack from me. I take my small suitcase and bag of toiletries and walk in to check in. Sophia is restless and bored as I stand and talk to the lady at the front desk so I send her off to sit on one of the couches in the lobby.

"So your room is all paid for, I'm sure you knew that." She says as she sets up our room key.

"I didn't actually." I laugh slightly before taking the room key from her hand.

"So it's 1604, just take the elevator up to the sixteen floor and you'll wanna turn right once you get off and go all the way to the end of the hallway."

"Okay great, thank you!"

"You're welcome, have a great stay." She flashes me a big smile which I return and find Sophia sitting on the floor playing on the iPad.

"Come on baby, we're gonna go upstairs and get ready for the game."

"Can we talk to Tyler?"

"Yeah, we can call him before we get supper."

"Yay! Can we tell him we're coming or is it still a surprise mommy?"

"It's still a surprise baby. We'll try to get him to see us during warm up, okay?"

"Okay mommy."

Sophia is super fascinated by the elevator, even though we had one in our old building and she just wants to push all the buttons. I tell her to push the sixteen button, as the door is closing someone else jumps in with us and I move Sophia over.

"What button do you need pushed?" Sophia asks the man and he smiles at her.

"Can you push 10 for me?" Sophia nods and counts out the buttons and pushes the ten, "Thank you!"

"You're welcome." I smile at Sophia and she grabs my hand for the rest of the ride up to our floor. Once the man gets off and says goodbye Sophia turns to me and asks a whole bunch of questions.

"What are we gonna have for supper mommy?"

"I think we can just get some room service, so there's a menu in the room and we call a number and they bring it to our room for us. Does that sounds good?"

"As long as they have chicken fingers for me."

"I think they should baby." I lead Sophia down the hall to our room, as soon as I open the door Sophia runs in. There's a big bed in the middle of the room, a small desk off to the left and a big dresser with a flat screen tv on top. Sophia is already trying to figure out the TV as she jumps on the bed.

"Soph get off the bed, it's for sleeping not jumping." She flops down and lays flat out o the bed. I go and sit next to her, she crawls up into my lap to cuddle.

"I'm hungry now mommy, can we get food."

"Yeah, let's find a menu and we can look for some chicken fingers." I stand and find the menu sitting on top of the desk, I quickly look over it and find they do offer kids meals. I look over the whole menu and decide to just order two kids chicken finger meals.

I order our food and put on cartoons for Sophia to watch while we wait. I look through our suitcase and find Sophia's outfit for the game, her jersey from Tyler, a Bruins beanie, black leggings and black boots.

"Mommy, did you pack me Boston socks? Everything has to be Boston for Tyler." I laugh as I pull out exactly what she wants from the suitcase. She giggles as she takes them from me and sets them with the rest of her outfit.

"We're gonna take a bath before the game because I know you'll be too tired for one later, okay?"

"After chicken fingers though right?"

"Yes after chicken fingers."

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Sophia is sitting in the bath as I put my make up on in the mirror, I watch her carefully so she doesn't make a big mess or try to splash me like she usually does. She's just playing with the bubbles and whispering to herself, I think about the hockey game tonight.

"Okay Soph, time to come out and get dressed." I say once I finish putting on my mascara. I hold up a towel for her to wrap herself up in.

"I'm so excited mommy. I missed Tyler."

"That's good baby." I towel dry her hair and spray it with detangler before brushing through it carefully. I set her on the counter to blow dry her hair slightly.

"Did you miss him too mommy?"

"Yeah, sometimes."

"Do you love him mommy?"

"He was my best friend since I was younger than you, I'm happy he gets to play hockey and do what he loves. I miss hanging out with him sometimes, but it's okay I'm happy with you and I know he's happy here in Boston."

"But do you love him mommy?"

"Yeah, I do baby."

"You should marry him then. That's what grandma says you do when a girl loves a boy. I bet Tyler loves you too mommy."

"Well me and Ty can't get married baby, it doesn't always work out like that."

"I think you should marry him mommy." I laugh and shake my head at her as I start to brush through her hair.

"How do you want your hair done today?"

"Pony tail, Tyler said I look like you when I have a pony tail."

"Okay baby." I pull her hair up into a pony tail and put her back on the floor, "okay, go get dressed and I'll be out in a minute."

I stand in the bathroom a little while longer, thinking about what Sophia said. Her asking me if I love Tyler struck a nerve. More and more lately I've been realizing that I may love him more than I've ever let on to anyone, not even myself. He's always been there for me since the beginning of our friendship and he was so helpful with everything while I was pregnant and the first few months of Sophia's life he was perfect. I was the one who forced him to leave, I told him he had to go to Boston and live out his dreams. I never once thought he should stay, I wasn't going to hold him back from doing something he's so amazing at and could make it big. His dreams and his career was and still is more important than mine in my mind.

I love Tyler, I really do but I know we can't be together at this point so I'm never going to admit it out loud to anyone else. I'll say I love him like friends like I always do, but I'll never admit the extent to how much I do love him.

I don't even think I'll ever admit it to him.