Anime Imagines

Ayato Kirishima - I didn't want to leave you

Ayato's eyes widened when he turned a corner, only to be faced with you.  He hadn't seen you since he'd left the Tenth Ward, over a year ago.  "y-y/n," he stuttered.  "Wh-what are you doing here?"  He wondered when you'd moved to the Twentieth Ward, why you'd moved there. 

"Hello Ayato," you said with no hint of emotion in your voice.  You were actually heartbroken to see him again, as you were when you saw the note he left you when he left the Tenth Ward.  Seeing him ripped open the wound again, though you didn't dare let it show.  "It's been a long time."

He wanted to run up to you, to hug you for the first time in over a year, but he restrained himself.  He knew that he'd just have to leave again.  "Yeah," he managed to say after staring at you for several seconds.  You both stared at each other for uncounted time, until he finally spoke again.  "I didn't want to leave you."

Your hands balled into fists at your sides.  "I know, you put it in your note.  But you made a commitment to Aogiri.  But you also made a commitment to me, when you asked me to be your girlfriend.  But hey, who cares, right?  The past is in the past, I'm over it."

He was both happy and upset that you were over it.  He was happy because it meant that you were okay, and you weren't hurting because of him.  But, he wondered how quickly you'd gotten over it.  Did you even care about him?  Did it even upset you that he left?  He sure as hell hadn't gotten over it, he thought about it every day.  He thought about you every day.  "Yeah," he repeated, unsure of what else to say.

"Is that all you know how to say now?"  You looked at him for another moment before turning around. 

"Yeah - I mean no!"  His face turned slightly red as he looked down at his feet for a second, then back up at you.  "y/n are we gonna talk about this or stand awkwardly?"

"There's nothing to talk about," you said through gritted teeth.  "You left.  I got over it.  You're probably over it.  It's in the past.  Now, I have somewhere to be."

"I'm not over it," he called out, instantly regretting his words.  You'd always been a force to be reckoned with, not being afraid to whip out your kagune and stick it through anybody who pissed you off, or even just looked at you the wrong way.  He knew that what he just saud gave him a larger chance of being attacked.

You slowly turned back to face him, trying to hide your surprise.  You'd always thought that he would've been over it quickly, since he left so easily.  "I'm surprised, since you left so easily."  You wanted to tell him that you'd missed him, that you weren't totally over it either, but you knew that he'd just break your heart again.

"It wasn't easy for me."  He wanted to run to you, to close the distance between you both, but he ignored the burning want inside of him.  You said you were over it, so he didn't wanna upset you.  "The morning I left...  It was the worst day of my life.  I uh-" he paused for a moment and scratched the back of his neck.  "I kinda snuck into your room that night, you left your window open.  I stood there, and I looked at you.  You looked so peaceful as you slept, so beautiful.  I wanted to wake you and explain, but I knew that I wouldn't go if I did.  So I dropped the note, and I left."

You sighed as you shook your head, not looking at him.  "I don't know what you expect me to say, Ayato."

"I don't know what I expect either, I just had to tell you.  I never stopped loving you, and I've thought about you every day.  Not a day went by where you didn't pass through my thoughts."

You blinked back tears.  You knew that he would just leave again, that Aogiri would always surpass you in his priorities.  He'd just continue to hurt you and leave you.  You couldn't put yourself through that.  Not for him, not for anybody.  And, you knew that if you told him you weren't over it, then you'd end up getting hurt again.  "I don't know what you want me to say to that.  Are you expecting me to cry that I missed you, and for me to fall back into your arms as you wipe away my tears?  Do you expect me to yell out that I still love you, and hug you so tight you might suffocate?  I'm not gonna do it."

"I - I didn't expect that," he said as he looked down at his feet.  "But thank you for reminding me that it's never going to happen."

You knew that tears were about to start falling.  You had to get out of there before it started.  "Goodbye, Ayato."

"Goodbye, y/n," he said quietly.  He noticed the tears forming on your eyes, making him realize something:  You weren't totally over it.  Part of you still
cared. Part of you still loved him.  That was enough for him, for the time being.

"Ayato?" you said as you turned around, and his eyes jumped up to yours.  "I'm glad we had a better ending, this time."  This ending hurt you more than the last time, because you actually had to say it to him.  But that made you feel a little better about it.  You got to express how you felt for the first time, since you didn't tell anybody else about how what he did to you made you feel.  You also felt better, since you at least got to say goodbye, this time.

"Me too," he said, smiling after he turned away.  Those small tears that he noticed meant that you still cared about him, something he wasn't sure of the last time he left.  He could live with that.