guardian of the storm | ✓

Chapter Forty-Five ~ To Be Human

~Chapter Forty-Five~

Ja'far had to admit, he was impressed with the glowy dude and the skeleton emo. Their attacks were lethal and delivered with little to no hesitation, and while they were clearly some of the strongest players on the field, they weren't so full of themselves that they didn't hesitate to ask others to aid them in the fierce battle.

Still, he wished that Obito or Madara or whoever the hell was attacking them wasn't so tough. While he still had a lot of chakra left, he felt drained. He didn't want to be in this war anymore, he didn't want to be around all this death and chaos, because the longer he was around the blood-stained field laced with the heavy scent of fear, the longer he felt the uncontrollable urge to revert back to his old ways.

See, at a young age, Ja'far had been introduced to violence. He was seen as the outcast of his clan because of the way his Kekkai Genkai worked, and he was the bastard son of an unlucky kunoichi, so he was a scapegoat. He was pushed around and took the blame for little things that no one else wanted to take account for.

It didn't take him long to figure out that the strong rule and the weak were killed at their mercy.

His mother never felt like a mother to him, she was a distant figure in his mind, and if someone asked him what his fondest memory of her was he wouldn't be able to find one.

His mother wasn't there to stop the bullies who thought they were above him. His mother wasn't there to stop the genin who had a bad day that dragged little Ja'far deep into the woods. His mother wasn't there when he was thrown into the rushing river. His mother wasn't there to pull him out because he didn't know how to swim. His mother wasn't there to perform CPR, frantically shouting his name and shaking his shoulders until he coughed up water. His mother wasn't there to console him at his near death experience, nor was she there to help him work through his fear of water. Aiden was. Winter was. Emiko was. But never his mother.

The first time Ja'far killed someone he was only six years old.

It had been an accident, and it had been self defense, but he'd still seen the light drain from the rouge shinobi's eyes, seen him take his last breath, seen how all his goals and memories and actions faded into nothing. Because that's what death was. It was final, it robbed you of what made you, you, and it made you become nothing more than a pile of bones and ash scattered across the earth that would never be remembered.

But soon Ja'far began to recognize death as a constant presence in his life.

After the attack on the Storm Village, he'd wandered around for a long time. He wasn't proud of what he'd done, but when he'd killed it had only been when his life was at stake. Over time the blood never seemed to wash from his hands and the nightmares faded— killing had become a routine part of his life. He started to accept the blood, the death, the draining of life. And when he became a bounty hunter the death tally rose.

However, Ja'far knew that the amount of people he killed for money paled in comparison to the people he killed there. When he'd been taken to the Coliseum he'd started to feel this sort of, detachment. To life, to people, to killing. When he would kill beasts and the crowd would roar in approval, all he could feel was a sense of emptiness. When he became the Executioner he found himself losing all sense of emotion, he found that he simply couldn't bring himself to care simply because it hurt too much. He surrounded his heart with a wall of iron and pushed his emotions into a pit in the darkest part of his mind. As if he'd flipped a switch, Ja'far found himself being robotic. He became completely and utterly cold.

He lost himself. He didn't feel human anymore. He was barely able to register anything except for the kills, each one bringing a brief flicker of feeling to him. As sick as it was, Ja'far found himself need to kill, because if he didn't he would lose himself. Being in the Coliseum for four years would do that to a person.

And then Winter came tumbling into the picture. He didn't know it was her at first, but something about the way the young woman had walked, talked and fought brought forth a memory from the black hole that had consumed his mind. Once he saw her use the same style of fighting he used all the mismatched puzzle pieces finally fell into place and it was like he was snapped back into reality. All the repressed emotions that had been growing in the recesses of his mind burst forth and consumed him, lighting his mind on fire.

It was hell, but Ja'far would go through it again and again as long as it meant he got to feel human again.

But now that the familiar stench of death, chaos, and barely contained fear was sweeping over him like a tidal wave, Ja'far felt the numbness curl up around his spine, waiting patiently for him to lose it. He shuddered involuntarily which drew the attention of Winter to him. "Are you alright?" She murmurs, kneeling on the ground next to him.

The black haired girl was the reason why he was still alive, and he felt an uncontainable amount of gratitude towards her. Of course, he wouldn't flat out tell her this, knowing that she would tease him about it endlessly. Still, he let it show through his daily actions. So he left a smirk slide onto his face and he leaned down slightly, ruffling the top of her hair like he used to do when they were children. "Just peachy. A bit tense but I suppose that's natural given our current circumstances." He cast his gaze on her, watching as she looks at him with a steady turquoise eye before turning her attention back to the scroll she'd unfurled before her.

He felt a tug of worry in his gut, his smirk fading slightly as he looked at the scroll and the contents that were sprawled on it. It was written in an ancient dialect that was taught to the head Ookami family and a select few others. Ja'far himself knew bits and pieces of the beautiful, yet cruel, language. Enough to know that if Winter used the scroll that there would be a price.

"There's other ways you know, to win this war." He says, his voice soft as he watches the shinobi in front of them. The two had made their way far back, the nearest shinobi several hundred feet away, Naruto and Sasuke just bright figures in the distance. Madara Uchiha himself had entered the fight which evoked Hashirama, the first Hokage, to join the center of the war as well.

Even from this distance, he could feel the wells of power that those fighting shinobi had at their fingertips. Compared to them, Ja'far and the others were children blundering around with no idea of what to do.

They were legends— people that inspired others to become shinobi, people that stories were told about, the select few that would be remembered even after death even if they weren't wholly good, they were the people that shaped history to their liking, their anger forged valleys, their joy created villages, and when two legends collided the whole world held its breath and prayed that the damage wouldn't be too extensive.

Legends never truly die, but they're more liable to die young.

And that's why when Ja'far looked down at Winter— brave, selfless, kind Winter —he felt his heart start to stutter from fear. Because she was a legend in the making and it was only a matter of time before she joined those at the front lines, helping shape the fate of the shinobi world and turning the tide of the war, and then she would be running towards that special place meant for prodigies, for those who would be remembered long after death claimed them.

Leaving him far behind in a place where he couldn't protect her anymore. 

so since the war is so hard to write i'm going to be skimming over bits and pieces of it. this chapter took place in episode 391/392 "Madara Uchiha Arises" + "The Hidden Heart" if that helps you realize where they are in the war.

so with the help of my lovely new friend kogarashii I have come up with some hashtags for this story that I think are highly entertaining. they are the following:

#saveJa'far2k16

#protectEienOokami

#NeverFearWinterOokamiIsHere

#TheIHMFCSsquad aka the "I hope my favorite character survives" squad) 

and finally,

#StormSquad (I'm 110% adding this one to my bio)

Feel free to put them on your bios if you want, I'm debating on which one I want to put on my bio haha. Also, if you have any hashtags of your own let me know! 

gif of Ja'far's internal turmoil in media