Her New Mommy

Truth

Hearing Jasmine say that I was her mom to her actual birth mother, felt....amazing. I can't describe the feelings of emotion that went through me when she said that. I never thought that I, Alice Sanders would be a mom. I may not be an actual mom by blood but by love I definitely have that. That's why I was so reluctant to openly sharing my past with Cole.

I don't want to ruin what we have, I don't know what I would do if I did. It wasn't something that I told just anyone. The only ones who know the whole truth are Andrea and Jeff, they're the only ones I trust to know the truth.

Although, I do want to add another person to that list no matter how reluctant I am.

"Alex as in the guy that was in your apartment that one night?" Cole asked.

"Yes that Alex, he was my boyfriend and I thought that I loved him, but I couldn't have been more wrong. Like I said before I was 16 and stupid so I trusted all the wrong people. He was the bad boy senior and I was the loud junior who liked the male attention I was getting. So the day we met I will never forget. I was walking down the street from school when he pulled up beside me on his motorcycle, I almost died right there, I was always so fascinated with motorcycles. He offered me a ride home and I obviously accepted and that's when the never ending cycle began. He would pick me up and take me home and eventually he asked me out. I was so infatuated that I said yes immediately. I began to hang around him and his friends more often and almost lost Andrea with everything that I was doing," I said choking up a bit when all the memories hit me.

"I got involved with drugs, because of Alex," I looked up at Cole to see him looking at me in shock, he didn't say anything but just grabbed my hand and squeezed it tightly. "I don't remember a time when I wasn't high on something. Alex used to get me all the stuff I wanted, weed, acid, speed, anything really. He got it from his uncle Chuck and at the time I didn't know who he was. So as our relationship progressed, him and I always on something, Alex became abusive. He used to hit me, high or not, and sometimes he would beat me so bad I would pass out. Andrea found out about everything and she told my parents. When they found out they were livid, I mean whose parents wouldn't be when they find out they're daughter is on drugs and is getting abused? They called the police and they arrested the both of them, Alex and Chuck, and that was the biggest mistake ever. They somehow convinced the police that they were innocent and were released. That same night they came for us, they barged into the house and killed them!" At this point, I was sobbing hysterically, "They killed them! My mom, dad, and my little brother! He was only 3! After they killed them in front of me they lunged for me and held me down...h-he raped me. He stripped me down a-and....raped me," I said whispering the last two words.

Cole looked at me with tears in his own eyes, "Alex raped you?" He said I could hear the anger in his voice.

"N-no, it wasn't Alex. It was Chuck, he was the one that did it, Alex just held me down. One of our neighbors had heard something going on and before I knew it the police were barging in. They took photos of everything, my family, the house, me, I was so traumatized. Everything happened so fast that I didn't even know was happening, and it was all my fault, everything was."

"No babe, it's not your fau-"

"Don't even try to say that it wasn't because we both know it was! I don't want you to sit there and lie to my face about that, I know that it was my fault and nothing you say will change my mind."

"I'm not lying," he said trying so hard to make me believe him.

"Can I finish?" I asked. He only nodded in response,

"So after they were re-arrested and convicted I ended up on my own. My parents had enough money to put me through college and support myself for some time before getting a job. After about two years or so everything was okay but then I started getting letters and photos, and they were from Chuck. I can't tell you how fast I packed up my things and moved, but one thing that always happened was that Andrea followed me. Everywhere I went, she went with me, she's the only family I had. At the time," I said before flicking my eyes to his briefly. "It wasn't until I moved here that I had something normal. I was able to have some structure in my life, it was more than I could ask for. Until I got that package from him and that's what brings me back to my current dilemma. The ones who jumped me when I was running? Yeah, that was Chuck. I knew Alex had found me but I didn't think much of it because I could handle him. But Chuck? I'm fucked," I said keeping my gaze on my hands in front of me. After telling him this I realized just how selfish I've been, I shouldn't be putting everyone that I love at risk. "Which is why I can't continue with this anymore. Cole, I'm putting you both at risk and it's so selfish of me. That's why we need to end this now before we both get in too deep," I said standing up. I finally looked at him and almost wish I didn't. The look on his face broke my heart, he looked so indifferent and didn't even spare me a glance as I walked out the door.

It wasn't until I was walking down the street did I hear his calls after me,

"Wait Alice! Alice, hold on!" His attempts didn't stop me as I just kept going on. It wasn't until he stood in front of me and completely blocked my path did I stop walking.

"What do you want Cole? This is too much for you to handle, and it's not something you should have to handle! This is my problem and I shouldn't have involved the both of you, like I said, I'm putting you in danger!" I exclaimed.

"Alice can you just listen to me?! Alice, I want you! All that stuff in the past doesn't matter to me, well it does, but that's not going to stop me from loving you. I don't care if it's the selfish thing to do, I know that I am capable of protecting you and Jasmine. I know what I;m capable of handling, I know when I've reached my limit and let me tell you, this is no where near my limit. I am willing to do anything for you because I love you," he said and grabbed the back of my neck and pulled our lips together.

I couldn't help myself as I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer. I was loving every minute of this and I was going to savor it for as long as I could.

"Please, baby, say you want me. Say you want us together. Say you love me," he said and looked into my eyes.

I stared at him long and hard before smiling and pulling his lips back to mine.

"I want you. I want us together. Cole, I love you, I really do," I said and couldn't help but connect our lips once again.