Just Venting

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There is this boy, and I don't know how to stop it. He means a ton to me, and I know I mean nothing to him. Or maybe I do, and he just hides it. It makes me so freaking angry at myself, because even though I want to stop, there's that small burst of hope, that thinks maybe he cares. I can't stop myself. We live in different states, yeah I know I'm crazy. It's like I can't stop. He's a nightmare dressed as a daydream, and I know I'm killing myself. I just can't help it. I'm just a stupid kid trying to make dreams come true. Maybe I have to many, but I can always dream. Dreams make the impossible possible. Maybe I'm seeing through my dreams, that's why I try. I would rather be the one who tried everything and failed, then the one who never tried anything. I keep trying, and I'm failing miserably. But I'm getting somewhere. I may never get my book placed in the top 100. I may never make it big, and that's ok, because I'm being myself. I could act fake, and make it, but what good does it do. Everyone who see a different person, and that's not me. This boy, he's so addicting, I took one dose of his smile, and I was addicted. I couldn't stop. I'm gotten rid of all the memories. All our conversations gone. I've tried, but I'm stuck here, at the gate of his life. Just waiting for him to open.

He's hurt me, but my mind only sees the good, what there could be. I know there won't be, but I can't stop myself. And yes I know I'm stupid, but I can't help it.

He will always be someone I care about for some odd reason. I will never really know why it was him, but I will never mind that I met him.

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Listen to the song above. It's such a beautiful song. It's been on replay since it came out two days ago.

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