My mom wants to foster a kid, preferably a teen. She is very disappointed in me, I've gotten behind in my work. I don't want her to foster, because I'm scared that she'll love him/her more than me. I've already lost my mom to her job, but I love the little bit we get to spend together. I don't want to lose her altogether to another kid. I know that kid will be better. I know that she doesn't deserve to put up with my crap. I feel like I've failed my mom completely. I feel like I burden her. I hate myself so much for failing my mom. I hate myself so much for failing myself. I hate everything about me, yet somehow she still loves me. Even though in the past two years, I've failed her more times than I can count.
She has failed me this year though. She let her job become her life, and I'm hardly part of it. My stepdad was more willing to help me get caught up, then she was. She voted that I get sent back to public school. I don't want to go back. I'll get asked to many question, I'll get bullied. I still get bullied, even though I'm not there.
I...
am...
a failure.
