•Still Breathing• ((Bike)) [COMPLETED]

Uptight

Mike's P.O.V:
"Billie Joe?" I whispered cautiously as I crouched down beside Billie. I put my hand on his back. He flinched. My heart broke a little bit.

I tried to pick Billie up, but he wouldn't let me. He started thrashing around as soon as I tried to hold onto him. I could clearly smell the alcohol on his breath. He'd done it again...

"Hey hey calm down Billie." I whispered. I was so scared, but I had to stay strong. For Billie.

Billie whimpered loudly. I had absolutely no idea how to get him to calm down. He was so drunk and so out of it that he wouldn't even let me touch him.

"Hey it's ok buddy." I whispered reassuringly. "I won't hurt you."

For the first time since he'd collapsed on my porch step, Billie looked up at me with his frightened green eyes.

Once again I slowly placed my hand on Billie Joe's back, trying not to make any sudden movements as they would probably scare him even more.

This time Billie didn't flinch and I gently pulled him into a sitting position. I could clearly see the fear in Billie's eyes as I looked at him.

I wanted so desperately for Billie to recognise me. I just wanted to have him in my arms again. To tell him that everything would be ok and that I was never leaving him ever again. But I guess I was going to have to take things slow for now.

Billie shivered violently with fear and I gently put a hand on his shoulder. I could clearly feel him flinch under my fingers.

"It's ok Bill..." I whispered, tears threatening to spill at any moment. No. I wasn't going to cry. I had to stay strong for Billie.

"It's me Billie." I whispered, my voice cracking. So much for not crying... "it's Mike, Bill."

Billie looked up at me and I saw a small flicker of recognition flash across his face for a few seconds.

"M-Mike?" Billie whimpered fearfully, continuing to look at me with his scared eyes.

As soon as I heard Billie say my name I broke down in tears. I gently pulled him to my chest and I put his head on my shoulder and started sobbing against his neck, kissing his head over and over again.

"Yeah Bill." I sobbed, whilst hugging Billie tightly to my chest. "It's me Bill." I continued cradling Billie in my arms. I could tell that he was still scared so I just kept holding him and gently rocking us back and forth. This was all happening on my front porch.

"I'm so sorry for leaving you Bill." I sobbed. I'm so, so sorry."

Billie shivered in my arms and I looked up at him. He looked angry and betrayed. I hung my head a little out of shame. I was such an idiot.
I felt so selfish.

"Why'd you do it Mike?" Billie croaked, that same look of betrayal still on his face.

"I-I..." I struggled to find the right words as I looked down at the floor. I could feel Billie's eyes on me as I sighed and once again looked up at him.

"I-I th-thought tha-that it wa-wasn't r-right fo-for m-me to b-be in b-bed w-with y-you Bi-Bill." I confessed, tears streaming down my cheeks. I couldn't bare to make eye contact with Billie, so I just kept staring at the ground.

"W-why Mike?" Billie whimpered. I looked up at him and bit my lip before continuing.

"I just thought because you'd just been in a relationship and all..." Billie nodded at my answer.

"That's over now." He whispered, barely loud enough for me to hear. "That's in the past and I never want to go back."

"Oh Bill." I whispered. "I thought that you loved Adie?" Billie nodded sadly and leaned forward so that his head was on my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him close to me.

"I thought so too." Billie sighed, huddling closer to me. "But I guess I was wrong..."

I felt my shirt begin to get soaked with Billie's tears. "Shhh..." I cooed. "It's ok Bill." I whispered. "Maybe it's better this way..."

"Wh-what do y-you m-mean M-M-Mike?" Billie sniffled, slowly lifting his head to look up at me.

I sighed and slowly brought my hands up to Billie Joe's hair and started running my fingers through his jet black curls. Billie immediately relaxed under my touch.

"I mean that maybe this was meant to happen. Maybe this was meant to happen because there's someone better out there that loves you more than anyone Beej. Maybe even more than their own life..."

The entire time that I said this, Billie was staring up at me. He looked mesmerised by my words.

Ok. So I might have been describing myself just now... yes. I do have feelings for Billie. I love him more than I can describe. I've loved him for as long as I can remember and when Adrienne told me that they'd broken up, I'll admit it... I was over the moon about it.

Oh fuck. I thought it again. No Mike. Stop it! You can't love your best friend! You're not gay! You've had girlfriends! But they never lasted for more than a couple months... oh fuck everything. I love Billie. End of that. But he can never know...

"Mikey?" Billie whimpered, burying his head in my shoulder. Butterflies exploded in my stomach as I gingerly wrapped my arms around him.

"Yeah Bill?" I whispered, gently rubbing his back.

"I love you." I gasped. No. Billie didn't love me. It was the alcohol that was making him say those things. It wasn't true. No matter how much I wanted it to be...

I didn't know what to say to this and I could feel that Billie's breathing was becoming slower against my neck. He must've been super tired, considering that it was only something like four in the afternoon.

As gently as I could, I picked Billie up in my arms and carried him inside. I quickly went upstairs into my room and changed Billie into some sweatpants and one of my shirts. They were both way too big for him. He looked so cute.

I then carefully tucked Billie up in my bed and stroked his hair. Did he really love me? I guess I'd never know...

Just as I was about to leave the room, I gently kissed Billie's head and whispered softly: "I love you Billie Joe."