(Fair warning : this chapter is kinda sucky to me but I like it..kind of? Tell me what yall think.)
"I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry for not loving you the way you deserved to be loved, I'm sorry for being afraid to hold your hand out in public and do all those cute coupley people things everyone else did because I was scared, I'm sorry I would never let our relationship go public and leaving everyone to think we were only friends but most of all, I'm sorry for the pain I've put you through and for the pain I'm about to put you through. I know I'm being selfish but I can't handle it anymore. I don't even know why I'm the way I am half of the time but then again I do. I'm sorry from all the times I've pushed you away when you were just trying to help but there is just no helping me. Stephanie I love you and I hope you can forgive me one day. I'm sorry."
Those were the words left on her voice mail box, at first she didn't know what they meant and so she called Kristie but the call didn't get answered. She found out what it meant a day later when she got a call from a crying Sam saying Kristie had commented suicide. She didn't remember dropping the phone or falling to the floor. She doesn't remember how long she sat their until her roommates came home and found her.
She knows someone had picked her up and moved her but she doesn't know who. She knows she answered their questions but doesn't remember the questions nor does she remember her answers.
She doesn't remember falling asleep until she is woken from the sunlight through the blindes.
As she sits up she notices all the people gathered in the living room. She looks around to see members from the National team, old and new, along with members from the Breakers and her European team all with tear-stained faces sitting around. Some more then others.
As she looks around she spots Sam sitting with Carli. The older girl having an arm around the taller girl's waist just holding her.
Hope was the first to notice the brunette sitting up. She didn't make it noticeable either, she just slowly made her way over to her and sat down careful not to sit on the girls legs. "What happened?" Stephanie asked her quietly. She can't remember much other then getting a call from Sam confirming what Kristie had said on the phone call before.
Hope let out a shaky breath not really sure what to say. "They said she hung herself." She said softly. She watched as Stephanie gripped the blanket harder until her knuckles turned white. Hope watched as she tried to keep the tears at bay by looking up and the ceiling to keep them from falling. She reached over to take the brunettes hands in her own.
A few others noticed the awoken girl but let Hope console her.
Stephanie was as angry as she was confused. Why did she do this? Why did she leave us? Why did she leave me?
Hope continued on once she realized Stephanie wasn't going to say anything. "She left a lot of people letters, you have one but it says not to give it to you until you are ready." She explained softly. Hope watched as Stephanie's eyes met her own. She saw the anger swirling in them as much as sadness and confusion.
"What does that even mean?" She questioned as she tightened her grip on Hope's hands.
Hope took one hand away to wrap it around the younger girl before leaning forward to kiss her forehead. Hope's eyes met Carli's over the brunettes head. She gave a subtle shake of the head.
