MSy's REVIEWS & WRITING GUIDES

5: "BFF with the bad boy" (by rachel1112002)

Hey there, Rachel! :)

Sorry for this super late review. Work had kept me uninspired to update this book

so, I wasn't able to come up with this review much sooner. Anyhoo, since you've

asked for my help reviewing your story, I shall post my sincerest commentary on

your work today. Yep. Right NOW!

*Yey*

So, let's start off with the...

BOOK COVER:

Your cover is pretty good. It fits well with the premise. Although, your title does

appear to be generic. It shouldn't even be written "BFF"...but "BFFs" instead.

In my opinion, if you don't want your story to be instantly categorized under the

"goody-two-shoes-falls-for-the-bad-boy" trope, you could think of another title.

It's too common now and although you might think it will catch the attention of

a large demographic, most people who have been writing for a while would

definitely suggest that you think of another title. Especially if you want your

story to stand out from the rest. (Say...1,599,838 other Good-Girl-Bad-Boy

stories here on Wattpad)

But I am not trying to be mean; I'm just speaking from experiences of having

read reviews from critics on here bashing these kinds of stories.

RATING:

The book is also rated Mature. In a way, I expected to come across some brow-raising scenes, as you're 16 and already writing stories past the PG-13 mark. hehehe.

I'm guessing from your tags alone that there are a few subjects covered in your story that required the M rating. I'm not fully against Mature Fic writers. Still, if there are things in your plot and writing that don't sit well with my current ideas/ expectations of teen fictions, know right now that I will point them out.

But don't take my opinions on your writing personally, okay? I'm merely providing feedback as just another reader clicking on your book and reading through the chapters. 

Moving on!

THE BLURB:

For me, it kind of info-dumped. You put in a paragraph-long dialogue (I guess it's from your female MC) and then an accurate depiction of your main characters' backstories. The blurb could be shorter and more intriguing -- it might pique the interest of future readers more, make them want to know your characters more. The blurb also had some grammar and punctuation errors but they're easy fixes.

You could rephrase a few iffy sentences in the middle and last part to make the narration flow smoothly. If you sought help from an editor or even a fellow writer, you'll get rid of the issues in no time.

SUMMARY:

I'm guessing it was the prologue? Some sort of a teaser again, since you've already told your readers quite much about your main characters' personalities and relationship just on the blurb alone. But kudos on the last part of your summary; it made me want to read on to know more about Kate's deepest, darkest secret/s. :)

FIRST CHAPTER:

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Steamy sex scene for an introduction. Okay. It wasn't what I initially thought it was, but... Yeah, it shocked me for a moment how graphic it was. I mean, I can relate to you, though -- I was a hormonal teenager once. hahaha.