Patience

Chapter 2 •The Word F.U.N Is Foreign•

Chapter 2 •The Word F.U.N Is Foreign•

"I feel like it was all just a dream. I was in disbelief until the funeral day and I saw her body." I explained to Maya. Here I was back in my stupid shrink's office, not by choice. My mother found out about how I had walked out on the last session.

She swore she'd force me into a mental institution unless I started sharing my "feelings" with Maya.

I was trying my best to tell Maya as little as possible. I had to tell her real things or else it wouldn't be believable, I needed to tell Maya a few things until she believed that I was fine and didn't need to visit her anymore.

My mother wouldn't worry so much anymore and I was home free. First things first, I had to convince Maya that I was sharing everything with her. "What else did you feel the funeral day? How did you feel when you saw Tori's body?"

I cringed when she said Tori's name, I haven't heard that name in awhile. I didn't want to, I couldn't stand to hear it, and I couldn't even say her name. If anyone ever talked about her I would always reply with a 'she' or 'her' never 'Tori'.

"I felt sad, hurt. I was angry that she pushed me away and that I never got to truly tell her a goodbye." I answered honestly.

Maya nodded her head in appreciation. She placed a hand on her desk as she leant in forward like she wanted to whisper in my ear. "Do you feel like it's your fault?"

I blinked twice as I tried to process her question. Was she serious? I glared at her angrily "Did I give her cancer? Did I make her sick? Did I make chemo not work?" I asked her as she moved away from me slightly. "No I didn't, so why the hell would I feel like this was my fault, I didn't kill her! Cancer did and it sucks because it did."

Maya smiled "Finally a true reaction out of you."

"What are you talking about?" I huffed out frustrated; I was in no mood for stupid mind games. All I wanted was to get back to my dorm room and do something like study.

She sighed "Gabe you've been being honest but you've never expressed the true way you're feeling. When you spoke before I couldn't truly feel the way you felt but just now when you yelled at me I could feel the anger that you held inside of you. I know there is more, you're holding back."

I rolled my eyes and lied "I'm not holding anything back." I looked over at the clock and smirked when I noticed the hour almost up. "Look you asked me to be honest and I was. You're lucky I told you anything." I murmured standing up from my seat "Well the hours up." I smiled "Till next time Maya."

"Wait." She called out standing up too. I sighed turning back to Maya; I just stared at her waiting for her to continue. "Have you heard of the story about a girlfriend and her boyfriend? The girlfriend challenged her boyfriend to live without her for a whole day. She told him that if he passed that she would love him forever. The boyfriend agreed, he didn't call, text, he didn't contact her at all for the whole day just like she had asked. The boyfriend had no idea that his girlfriend only had 24 hours to live due to cancer. The next day came and the boyfriend went to go see his girlfriend excitedly because he had passed. When he saw her he had a smile on his face "I did baby." He called out, his smile quickly turned into a frown as tears formed in his eyes. There before him was his girlfriend dead in a coffin with a letter lying next to her. The boyfriend opened up the letter and read 'You did it baby...now please do it every day.'"

I looked down; the story had hit me hard. I felt my walls beginning to crumble. I needed to get out of here and fast. "No I haven't heard of that story." I mumbled.

Maya sent me a soft smile "When I heard the story it made me think of you Gabe. I know you loved Tori deeply but she pushed you away from her for you own good. She did it so that you wouldn't get too attached to having her around, she knew she was dying and she didn't want you to suffer."