Patience

Chapter 8 •Demons•

Chapter 8 •Demons•

Today was the day, the day I had to hand in my finished art piece to Mr. Williams. I should have been done a long time ago, yet still there was a blank canvas. I had tried my best to force something creative out but I knew that if I did that whatever came out on the canvas would just be trash.

“Hey Gabe you want to head down to the café?” Carter asked as he stood by the door. I shook my head as he sighed, his mouth opened up to say something when I stopped him.

I stood up and sighed “I think I’ll head out later.” Carter nodded his head before he left the room. I walked into the bathroom and sighed when I looked into the mirror. I didn’t see the same guy I used to see every day before school back when I was in high school. This guy looked tired, depressed and most of all fake.

I was a fake because I pretended nothing was wrong with me, I played it off like I hadn’t changed at all. I blew off my friends all the time because I didn’t want them to see me like this; I didn’t want them to see what I had become for too long. I wanted to protect them from myself, I was dying slowly inside, I was killing myself by acting like this.

I took off my clothes and stepped into the shower. The hot water hit my skin, usually the water would soothe me, it would make me feel relaxed, safe but now I felt like the water was hurting me. I felt like it was trying to kill me, it wasn’t making me feel relaxed, it was suffocating.

The panic feeling came. The heavy breathing came, just as the will to get out of here. I quickly shut the water off and rushed out of the shower. I looked into the mirror and my eyes widened, the person I saw standing there was someone who was terrified, of themselves.

I was scared of what I had become. I was scared to face the truth because I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle it without showing people my demons. I sighed deeply as I changed slowly. When I stepped back into my room it no longer felt safe and welcoming.

It felt unnatural. I grabbed my blank canvas and left the room, I couldn’t stay in there any longer. I had been locking myself up in the same room, I had been draining myself. I needed to get out; I needed open space, fresh air.

Outside was where I had found myself, our school campus was huge but I had managed to get past all of the other students and just focus on myself. I walked around until I came across a garden; there was a tree with a bench under it.

Memories of Tori and I saying our ‘I love yous’ that first time came across painfully but I pushed through. If I was going to create an art piece that shows emotions then I was going to have to remember something painful.

I sat down on the bench and sighed deeply. At least it wasn’t the same spot; I set up my stand to hold up the canvas along with my paints. I got out my brush and sighed, I closed my eyes and tried to focus on something, anything to paint but once again my mind drew a blank.

(Play the song Demons by Imagine Dragons on the side now please.)

“I guess we had the same idea.” A feminine voice called out. I opened my eyes and looked over to see Evie approaching me, her canvas in her hands.

I forced out a smile “I guess so. How did you know about this place?”

She shrugged taking a seat on the bench next to me “I come here to think sometimes. I thought it would be a good place to paint before I have to hand in this.” Evie sighed pointing down to her blank canvas.

“I just found this place.” I murmured “I reminds me of the past.”

Evie nodded her head “I know it’s none of my business but Mr. Williams said that he could see that both of our paintings were based on the loss of another.” Her face softened “Who did you lose?”