I Love You In a Pick Me, Choose Me, Love Me Kind of Way

And the Memories Come Flooding In

Meredith got Izzy put back to bed and she sat there stroking the little girl's hair as the thoughts of that night replayed over and over again in her head. They came back flooding her mind. Derek leaned against the kitchen counter glass pieces still strewn on the floor. Meredith got up from the floor and went into the bathroom her hands shaking, her heart racing, her stomach doing flips inside her. Derek heard her footsteps upstairs so he walked up the stairs to go talk to her. He was worried, he knew this wasn't good. She just opened up to him and now this.

He opened the bathroom door to Mer pacing back and forth, "Mer, Mer? Are you okay?" he asked putting his hands on her shoulders and looking into his eyes. "I'm-no. I'm not, Derek." she said her hands still shaking. "Are you having an anxiety attack? Mer, you're shaking." he said grabbing her hands. "They happen sometimes, when-when-" Meredith stuttered trying to catch her breath. "When he comes up," Derek finished. "Yeah..." Meredith said sitting down on the floor. "Come here," Derek said holding her close to him. "Derek, what do we do? I can't face him, I can't see him. Now I see him when I look at her," Meredith said breaking down onto his shoulder. "I will make sure you never have to see him, I promise." Derek said rubbing her back with his hand. "What do we do about Izzy? She can't go back to him and that woman," Mer said pulling back to look into his eyes. "She won't go back with them, there's no way those two could win a custody battle. What, what if-" Derek started before being interrupted. "Derek, I know what you're going to say but we aren't even engaged. I've known you less than a year. Social services wouldn't give us a 5 year old." she replied. "Then we get married." Derek said quickly. "We what?!" Mer said freaking out. "We go to the courthouse and get married." Derek said grabbing her hands. "I don't know Derek, this is a lot. I want to marry you and have a family with you but I-I don't know. Don't you wanna do the whole get down on one knee thing and then have the party and the honeymoon? Mark doesn't even know what's going on," Mer said. "We don't have to decide right now, it's a thought. They haven't even found them. We have a week at least. Why don't we go to bed, it's been a long day, okay?" he said cupping her face with his hand. "That sounds perfect." Meredith responded.

Meredith curled up in bed with Derek's arm wrapped around her just like every other night. She drifted off to sleep quicker than usual that night but around 2am woke up screaming and crying for help, something that hadn't happened since before Derek. "Meredith, Meredith! Wake up, what's wrong?" Derek yelled shaking her awake. "Derek, he-he was there and I-" Meredith said breaking down. "Meredith," he said pulling her against him, giving her the security she needed. "I-I can't. This hasn't happened in almost a year, Derek" she said between sobs. "Since before I came along?" he asked. "Yes," she said sobbing into his right shoulder. "What happened?" a small voice asked from the doorway. "Nothing Isabelle, it's okay," Derek said as Meredith tried to pull herself together. "I been awake for a while. I can't sleep," she said crawling up onto their bed. "Why can't you sleep Izzy?" Meredith asked wiping her tear stained face. "I had a bad dream," her tiny voice replied. "I had one too," Mer responded brushing the little girl's hair back. Derek smiled at the gesture, "Why don't you sleep in here Izzy," "Really? I can?!" she asked almost excitedly. "Yeah," Meredith said pulling back the covers for her to crawl in. Izzy crawled in and almost immediately drifted to sleep, Derek wrapped his arm around the both of them and leaned over to kiss the crown of Mer's head. "I love you," Meredith smiled. "I love you too," Derek whispered back. 

Okay, so side-note I split this into 2 parts to help it flow a little better, but I've already started the next chapter so I'll probably post it in a few hours. 

XOXOgrace