The Unholy Bible

Lucifer is NOT the Devil

"HOLY SHIT!"

The guy smiled. His smile was brilliant, his white teeth glinting in the lamplight. He sure did take care of his teeth.

"Ah. That... Usually happens," he said sheepishly. "You shouldn't be that worried, you should have something like this happen to you. Can you stand?"

I shook my head. Of course not!

The guy shrugged and helped me up. He himself did a double take just then, as he was able to see every angle of me. I didn't know why he was so shocked. I was just a human.

"Wait. YOU'RE STILL HUMAN."

That wasn't a question.

"What?" I asked, gritting my teeth over the pain in my leg. "Am I not supposed to be?"

The guy looked at me confused. "Well, of course! You think I'm the only one who is a demon in this entire casino?"

"What casino-"

Nevermind.

Sure enough, there was a huge building in front of the spot where I fell. Huh.

It appeared to be four stories tall. The building was made of stone, and the outside walls appeared to be smooth and were a pleasant light gray color. The front door had a maroon awning over it, held up by four stone columns, two of which were right up against the building wall. The doors were glass, and it was a pair of double doors which opened outwards. There was a window on either side of the door. A rosebush sprouted under each window. The roses were an unnatural shade of baby blue. From what the winged guy said, there were demons inside, so I wouldn't have been surprised if a demon had created those flowers. From what I could see from the doors, the inside had a white and red checkered tile floor and maroon walls. Every few minutes, an empty, unused beer bottle would shatter the farthest left window on the second floor. I guess they filled beer bottles and sold them. I'm assuming they had beer from tap.

The most distracting thing, however, was the sign. The top of it was an Italian restaurant sign. It was a black sign with golden, fancy lettering that read "Casa del-". The last part was cut off by a wooden board reading the word "NOPE" in sloppy red paint.

Casa del NOPE.

"Well," the guy cut in, "You wanna go in? You'll catch your death out here. You can still die, and by the looks of it, you'll just reappear at the Treehouse. Lucky."

Wordlessly, I leaned into his shoulder and with his aid, walked into the "casino". His face went red at my close contact, but he persevered anyways.

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Even though I braced myself, I couldn't hold my jaw drop back.

So. MANY. DEMONS!

Every single person in the bar was a demon. When I looked around, I could identify seven different types.

Inductive reasoning. Didn't we learn that in Geometry?

Anyways, there were a hell of a ton of demons. The guy waved at the two people with instruments and they came over to him. One was a woman with extremely long blue hair and skin made of granite (gargoyle?) and the other was a man made of black flame and was wearing aviators (flame man?).

Upon seeing the guy waving, he swore under his breath and yelled, "LUCIFER! WHAT IN THE HELL D'YA WANT? WE'RE GETTING READY FOR A PERFORMANCE!"

Lucifer?

"Ardru, come on. I found a live 'un. Take me seriously for once and check this out."

Ardru's interest was captured. The flame man strode over to me, pulled his sunglasses down and stared at me intently. In his eyes (? They were white eye shapes) I could see curiosity, confusion, rage (?) and a tiny bit of lust.

"Hmm. Human, alright. Where'd you find this one, Luci?" Ardru asked.

"The usual spot, wearin' a coat and everything. Looks like- What's your name, kid?"

"XXXXX"

"Looks like XXXXX was deliberately in Antarctica. No accident," Lucifer finished, with an agitated flutter of his wings.

"...you think the humans know? they could be hunting us," the gargoyle woman said nervously. Her voice was quiet, low and had a monotonous quality to it.

"Nah, Trinity. They've never made a mistake. Kinda surprising, since they seemed like such a slack-off when I first met 'em."

Who are they talking about?

"Excuse me," I asked nervously, "I hate to burst your bubble, but who are you talking about? Oh, and humans don't know about this place, so you're safe."

"Oh!" Lucifer said, surprised. "We were talking about Trick Graell, the owner of this building. They're Satan's replacement, as he... unfortunately... passed away. Here, let me fix up your leg."

Lucifer crouched down and delicately took hold of my leg while I used the bar to balance myself. He looked up at me with an expression that I couldn't quite place.

"I'm going to set the bone," he said gently. "This might hurt."

He pressed down and the bone slid back into place. I stifled a gasp of pain.

"There," he said. "Does that hurt?"

I nodded slightly.

"I'll be more gentle next time," he assured me. Chills ran down my spine, the good kind of chills.

"Stop playin' with him and heal him up," Ardru barked. Despite his tone, he seemed to be amused. If you count aroused as amused. A blush spread across my cheeks.

"Alright," Lucifer said sullenly. He pressed his hands around the fracture. Green light emitted from his hands.

I could feel the pain fade away underneath his fingertips. Huh.

"Good now?" he asked. I nodded in response.

"Excellent. I'm assuming Trick Graell will want to speak with you in the morning."

The name sent chills down my spine, but I shrugged them off. Who's Trick Graell?