The Unholy Bible

Enter: The Woohoo/Smite Button

God slammed the smite button over, and over, and over. The red button made an airhorn noise when it was hit.

Suddenly, it flipped to green. The text had changed as well.

---------------------------------------------------

SMITE

-----------------------------------------------------

WOOHOO

-------------------------------------------------------------

56 MILES FROM THE NORTH POLE.

INSIDE A HOLLOWED-OUT CLIFF, A CASINO LIES.

WITHIN RESIDE THE GREAT FORCES OF EVIL, LEAD BY THE NEW DEMON LORD, TRICK GRAELL.

ONE UNFORTUNATE BOY DISCOVERED THE CASINO BY ACCIDENT, AND NOW LIVES THERE.​​​​​​​

THIS IS HIS STORY.

----------------------------------------------------------
"SOUL! YOU HAVE TO WAKE UP! THEY'RE COMING!"

-------------------------------------------------------------

"Yeez! WAKE UP!" a familiar voice roared.

"Lindsey?" I asked blearily. "What time is it?"

"5:30," the demon lord replied. "That bitch thought she could catch us while we were sleeping. You need to move, Lucifer will show you the safe spot. I'll escort you to him, ok? They're really close, so I'm going to run, and you should too."

Trick shot me a wink. I knew they were going for a race.

"Challenge accepted," I replied. "Please tell me who is trying to catch us."

Turns out, Trick is a very fast runner. Before I knew it, they were halfway across the building. They had stopped at a chest hidden under the bar. The chest was long and flat, and it seemed to have room for long objects, like flagpoles. Using their magic, Trick unlocked the box and pulled out a long weapon. The weapon consisted of a long, thin pole with a handguard, which narrowed down into a thin, needle-like tip. The thing was silver, with silver carvings set with sapphires around the handguard. Trick grabbed the lance, ran back towards me, and shoved it into my arms. They then scooped me up, bridal style, and started running.

"Why do I need this?" I asked them.

Too late. Right as we were about to get out of the main restaurant area, the doors swung open and SOMETHING entered the room. Trick gasped and held me tighter on reflex.

"God," they snarled. Inky black shot across their scleras as their irises flashed into a molten red. Their sledgehammer flew into their extended hand.

Trick Graell, the girl who Trick referred to as God threatened. Hand over the human and I won't have to destroy you.

I looked at the girl. She was slightly round, but looked like she could pack a punch. She was floating a couple inches off of the ground. Even though we were inside of a cliff, the light seemed to focus on her face, illuminating it. Her hair was short and red, and the color was reminiscent of blood. Short black devil horns peeked out of her hair, and a devil tail was visible, the tail itself waving back and forth in time to the seconds going by. She wore a dark hoodie, jeans, and Vans knockoffs. She wore brass knuckles and carried a metal baseball bat.

"Grace Matson" was the name that came to mind. Wasn't she one of the 7 girls who died along with Trick?

I clutched my lance closer to my body. I didn't know how to use it yet, but I'd find a way if this girl somehow threatened Trick.

As soon as I heard the sentiment run through my head, I chuckled bitterly. Haha, me, able to defend the lord of all demons, from GOD? I was a Christian, I knew what power this young woman possessed.

A-hahahahaha!!! So, you're finally here, Trick retorted, amusement lacing their voice. Are you ready?

I'll show you a good time if you let me.

With that, Trick raised their arms in a taunting manner, beckoning the deity forwards. God snarled.

Then, Trick started summoning THEM.

The arms were horrible. Pale as death, with bandages hanging off of a small few, they rose out of the ground with a hurrying manner. They arced around them like spider legs, framing the demon lord.

I had no idea that they could do that.

God made a "tsk" sound and white light surrounded them.

Go.

The two charged at each other, Trick laughing maniacally, God baring her teeth. The arms moved with Trick, chasing after the other deity.

As the two collided, there was a flash, and the room disappeared into the light.