Chasing Elliot Grace

No.34: Wishes

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нανє ѕσмєтнιиg тнαт мαкєѕ ѕαуιиg
gσσ∂вує ѕσ нαя∂.
-ωιииιє тнє ρσσн
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Elliot's POV
Mary Kate's funeral fell on a Saturday, three days after she passed. Unlike all other cliche days you see on movies and TV shows, it was sunny with very minimal clouds in the sky. In the three day time period I had left my room very few times and ate hardly anything. I just didn't feel like it. Hayes stayed with me the whole time, only leaving to get food to try to get me to eat. When I did give in eventually I would not be able to stomach it so it didn't work very well. My dreams were reduced to nightmares waking me up at different times during the night, all in which Hayes was there to calm me down. I love that he's trying to make up for what he did. Him being here has been the best thing he could have done. When I woke up this morning I sighed looking into the mirror. Hayes was downstairs, no doubt getting food. There were bags under my eyes that showed, my hair was standing up in different places, visible mascara stains on my face. I need a shower, badly. Today I was going to look nice, for Mary Kate, no matter how much I was hurting, it was to honor her. Locking my door, I wanted to be alone to get ready, I went into the en-suite and got in the shower. I then did my makeup, and hair, before putting on the outfit I had chosen for today.
1 New text message from Julie:
Outside, come on out when you're ready.
I was being treated as part of Mary Kate's family, riding with them there and to the cemetery with them. "You're apart of this family, blood or not, so you will be treated like it. You were the sister she never had." Julie had said when she called me yesterday with her voice cracking. When I opened the door, no one was there, just a plate of pancakes and some chocolate milk. Hayes. I made my way down the stairs and into the kitchen silently. Thankfully, no one was around so I could dump the food in the trash without someone seeing. It's not that I didn't want the food, or appreciate it, I simply just couldn't find the appetite to eat. Not today, not for a few days now. The chocolate milk I took a few drinks of just to try to put some kind of food in my system, before dumping the rest into the sink. I remained silent as I made my way into the living room, everyone was there, looking at me with pity. They stared, and I continued to stand there, I wasn't talking till I had to. Till I talked to her one last time. Hayes walked up to me gently bringing my head up to look at him, "Grace, where's your plate?" He had been checking each meal to make sure I had at least eaten a little bit of food. When I was first depressed it was Spencer's job until she left, and then Jenn's, and now since I only was letting him and Tobias in, Hayes was. I didn't respond and he sighed walking into the kitchen to check. He would come across the trash sooner or later, he and I both knew I wouldn't eat that whole thing, so I went ahead and went for Julie's car. "Don't let her le-," were the words I heard before I exited the house and got into Julie's car. We weren't fast enough though, Hayes came running outside, a poptart in hand motioning for me to roll down the window. Refusing, I ignored him, communicating with my eyes for us to leave but Julie thought otherwise. She rolled down my window for me and Hayes stood there waiting for me to look at him. "Elliot look at me." I didn't like it when he called me my first name, it didn't fit. Grace was what I was to him, or Gracie, nothing else. I looked to him knowing he wasn't playing games but also knowing he was going to be gentle due to my fragile state. "You know I can't let you leave without you eating something. Just half, im going to trust Julie to make you eat that. I can't have you starving yourself." Tears formed in the corners of my eyes. "Baby, please don't cry." He says before kissing my forehead. "We better get going. I'll make sure she eats." Julie's voice was as broken as mine was. The boy let us go then, and as we got on the rode I slowly took a few small pieces of the poptart and at them, the food making my stomach queasy. When I couldn't eat no more, I sat the pastry down in its package, I had ate the half of one of the tarts in the silver wrapper. I had ate as much as I was told to. Arriving at the place after a soundless car ride, we sat in silence looking at each other,before pulling each other into a bone crushing hug. Silent sobs came from both of us as we embraced before we pulled away. This continued for a few more minutes before we both got out of the car and made our way to the family section at the side of stage. I refused to look at her, I would break even more. It was too much, I could feel the food in my stomach threatening to make its way back, and ran for the bathroom emptying the contents of my stomach. Somehow in the middle of it, Jenn and Spencer had ended up in there with me, Jenn held my hair back while Spencer rubbed circles on my back. When I was done they frowned at each other. They were worried about me as were the others, but I just needed sometime. When I came back to the pew we were minutes away from the ceremony starting. Someone sat next to me, I knew who it was without looking, he looked at me with so much emotion. I-M S-O-R-R-Y I wrote on the back of his hand, it was the way we had been communicating the past few days. He just drew me to him kissing my head, he had forgiven me. The ceremony started it was peaceful, the choir sang, the preacher talked for a few minutes and then it was my turn. "Elliot Grace Gray would now like to come up and say a few things about her sister." Mary had asked me a while ago to do this, just in case something happened, I didn't want to at first. I had told her that her cancer would go away, that she would live a long and happy life. It was a promise. One that I didn't keep, but I would keep this one. All eyes were on me as I reached the podium. It took me a few breaths to find my voice and when I did I couldn't believe the sound of it.
"'The world is not a wish granting factory.' This is a quote from Mary's favorite movie and book, John Green's The Fault in Our Stars. Wishes are limited. Wishes can be good or bad. We wish for a lot of things, an A on an exam, the boy you're in love with not break your heart, your family to understand you. I wish for many things, those being a few, but there's one wish that can never be granted. All of us lose people in our lives, parents, relatives, brothers, sisters. When you lose someone you always have this wish to talk to them one more time, here their laugh one more time, hug them one more time. But that's what the problem is, you don't get that wish, you have to heal, and take them with you in your heart." The room was silent. All eyes on me. "I made a promise to Mary Kate that I could not keep, because the promise was inevitable. I couldn't control the outcome. At first I didn't get why MK loved the movie so much, but as I got to know her I realized that the story gave her hope. Hazel Grace was a fighter, she battled through so much, just like Mary. Along the way she met so many people that loved her and she herself fell in love. Mary was so strong, in her last hours, she still smiled." I turned to her lifeless body then, looking at her and my voice shook as few tears came down my face. "Before you fell asleep you asked me to stay with you, not to leave. That was a promise I will always keep, because I know you will always be with me. Ellibear loves you. Fly high baby cakes." I finished my speech in tears, retreating back to Hayes who was there with open arms. Sobs overtook my body and I held on to Julie's hand as she silently cried as well. It hurt now, but I knew I would be all right, because for the first time I actually believed what I had said. She may be gone, but she would always be with me no matter what.
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1581 words
We have one chapter left omg
-Taylor💋