What Baking Can Do

I Feel Better With You

I suddenly wake with a jolt. Enough to have Jessie ask what's the matter. I didn't realize I had drifted off. How dare I sleep during Golden Girls!!! I assure Jessie it was just a weird dream - not a total lie. I shouldn't be this nervous.. why do I feel so anxious? Weird.

As I begin to think about the dream, trying to remember what exactly happened, I realize Jessie wasn't on the couch anymore. I look around trying to see if my phone is close so I could write this dream down. I tried to calm down and not set myself into a panic attack. I began to wonder if I needed to bring this up in therapy... ugh. But that would make it a problem right? It's not really a problem, is it? No. Do I really want to talk about it? Nope. I like men, right? Yeah? Okay, so that's over. The dream is just a dream. Nothing to worry about.

"Sara are you sure you're alright!??"

I turned my head towards her but I obviously didn't pay attention to where I heard her voice call from. She'd already gotten up and wasn't in my sight. Crap. Did she watch me try to reason with myself just now? Shit. Let's hope not.

"Sara?"

"Huh? Oh, uh. Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. It was just a weird dream and I still feel like I'm half asleep"

Jessie smiled and I swear she rolled her eyes a little bit.

"I'm here if you decide you want to talk about it. Dreams can be crazy sometimes."

"Thanks, Jess"

How would I even begin to describe this to her... 

"Hey, what time is it..?" I ask

"Three a.m."

"Oh.. okay uh-"

"Yeah. Don't worry I'm headed out"

"No! no, I was going to say I'll retire to my bed and you can have the couch to yourself, I don't want you traveling alone this late in the city and I really didn't intend to fall asleep earlier" we both smiled.

"Sara, I'll just call an Uber"

"Jessie, stay! It's really no big deal, honest."

"Well, It wasn't my intentions to just come on over and stay, let me text the boyfriend to let him know"

Ah yes, the boyfriend. I tried not to roll my eyes. They really are a cute couple.

"Cool, sent the message. so looks like we've got a slumber party!"

I rolled my eyes... 90% sure she saw it happen.

"Yeaaah, we sure do! Except I already was the lame one to fall asleep first."

"Sara honey, we were both sleeping at one point"

"Oh, then I guess I don't feel so bad. We should probably get some sleep"

I started walking to my room and realized I should be a better host.

"Hey, you can come take some blankets and bigger pillows if you'd like?"

Jessie sleepily walked over. She's so cute when she's tired. Shit, here I go again.

"Oh. Yeah, that might be a good idea. Thank you"

Ha, what if I asked her to just crash in bed with me, it's well big enough for two, I think I just rolled my eyes at myself.

"I mean we could just share this bed... if the couch is too uncomfortable"

Fuck. I said it.