What Baking Can Do

My Worst Distraction, My Rhythm & Blues

We didn't see each other that night after work. My heart felt heavy but at the same time, I figured it was probably best. Jessie seemed like she needed some alone time. I tried not to get too down because I knew I'd see her in a few days.

The photo shoot came and went. It made that bitter cold day more bearable and I managed to keep my feelings straight. We had meetings for the show here and there to get things set for read-throughs and another round of rehearsing later on.  Broadway Con happened and was a good experience. I spent time with Nadia to work on a few things (I also signed a butt load of vinyls). I continued to avoid cold weather and spent much needed time with friends. All of which helped me bury my worries into the back of my mind.

One of my favorites during those weeks is when I went out to eat with Misty. I continued my instructed learning of Snapchat while we had drinks and listened to live music. I felt like a mess that night and was trying to determine if it was a good idea to open up about these feelings I was having. We ended up coloring on our menus and having a relaxing night. I didn't want to ruin the mood by talking about this particular "issue". Turns out I didn't have to. A text popped up on my phone from Jessie. Misty saw the notification and smiled. I opened the conversation, Jessie sent me a link from the Waitress Instagram included with a "nice job" and a smiley face. The musical's account had a video of me inviting people to the show, something we filmed during a promo shoot not too long ago.

"You alright over there?" Misty asked with a laugh.

I was a little thrown off, "Who, me?"

"Yeah, silly. You're blushing at your phone. What'd she send you!?"

"Oh, I - uh, it's nothing. Judging by her expression I wasn't convincing. "Just a "good job" text for this video thing they had me do."

"Huh, if you say so. But, you should know your face says otherwise. You're a little pink in the cheeks missy." she smirked, like that little emoji...
"Misty it's not..." I stopped there and rolled my eyes. Still slightly smiling, I was trying not to panic. "Yeah, no. Really, she was just messing with me."

"Alright then, how's she been lately? How's the musical?"

I laughed under my breath, "the musical has been good. I think we're all looking forward to moving into the theater and seeing the set."

"And Jessie?"

I tried not to let my face react to her question, "She's been well."
"Sara, do I need to get you another drink to get you to say what's on your mind?"

Damn, was I that obvious?

"No, no.. there's nothing on my mind. Alright she stayed the night recently. She slept on the couch and things have felt a little weird since then."

"Interesting."

"Yeah."

If I was lucky in that moment she wouldn't believe the night was unordinary.

The conversation didn't last much longer, nor did I want it to. Friday nights are not meant for worries. I replied to Jessie and thanked her for sending the link. I was too much in my head that I couldn't think of a witty comment to send in response. Jessie replied quickly to remind me of our trip to Miami, an event that had drifted from my mind. Misty left the table and I swiped through my phone to check out the Waitress Instagram. While the page loaded I tried to remember the sleeping arrangements at the hotel. Sometimes we're paired up in a room with two beds to help save money.

I scrolled through the account stopping on a picture I hadn't seen in awhile. I could feel my face getting warmer. I stared back at the post of Jessie and I during rehearsals when the show was in its pre-broadway run. I missed those days. It's when Jessie and I started becoming such good friends, along with the rest of the crew and cast that have continued the journey with us.

On her way back to the table Misty passed from behind me and must have glanced at the picture on my phone. Once she looked at my face I think she put the pieces together and realized what had been on my mind.

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?"

Looking up from my phone I replied with hesitation, "I, -uh. no."
"I know these things can be hard to talk about, but -"
"These things?"

"Yeah, hun your face and eyes don't lie. I'm pretty sure this is not the alcohol talking either."
I sighed. "I'm sorry I cut you off."

She lightly smiled and continued on with how what I'm feeling is valid and how I need to give it more time. Unfortunately for me, worrying was not the easiest thing to avoid.

Before leaving we made plans to hangout again to help make sure we didn't let too much time pass between us again. Misty knew I'd travel out of state for a few days and that rehearsals were beginning.
We walked a block or so to get some air before getting a cab. We both loved to people watch and take in the bustle of the city, even at night. We played a game Jessie taught me. You spot two people talking and make up our own conversation based on what you see. This was probably more entertaining after we had a couple drinks. She hailed a cab. We set off for home watching the lights of the city through the window. I was the first stop so we said our "good-byes" as the car pulled over.
"You better get me a ticket for opening night, Bareilles!" she said as she got back into the cab after our hug.
We were both laughing, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, back of the balcony, got it! G'night, be safe!"