What Baking Can Do

It's Much Too Quiet in Here

Jessie turned to me. The look on her face had me wishing I wouldn't have said a word after offering to share pillows and blankets.

"Oh, " Jessie said with a long pause as she stared at the bed. "Are you sure?"

I couldn't tell what she was thinking but I was freaking out and hoping my sweat wasn't visible.

I tried to collect my thoughts.

"Yeah, I mean, it wouldn't hurt anything." I tried to say as if it was no big deal. Because it's not, right? Two friends sharing a bed is n o t h i n g.

I continued with "It's totally up to you" since she still hasn't answered

"Yeah, as much as I appreciate the offer, I'll stick to the couch, it's pretty comfy anyway. I don't want to be a burden in your bed"

Ugh, she's so sweet.

"That works for me if it works for you"

"Mhhmm, thank you for the pillows and blankets! Goodnight, Ms. Bareilles!"

Fuck did she have to... so cheery, and cute...?

"Goodnight Jen- shit, Jessie" My eyes grew wide and I tried to smile. Apparently, I was too preoccupied with what she said and how she said it to function.

"Wow," she said staring blankly at me

"You know I'm joking!" I replied playfully with a little side eye, of course

"I do. See you when we wake," she chuckled as she shook her head and turned around.

I shut the door to my room as she was fixing the couch. What the hell was wrong with me!?! That was so painfully awkward. I sat on the edge of my bed staring at the door. She's been over to my house countless times, this really was no big deal. I decided to stop staring at the door and moved into bed. I sat up amongst some pillows while I scrolled through social media. I had to try and think about something else.

But I couldn't.

I grabbed my phone to write out my dream. Fortunately, this wasn't one I would've forgotten.

We were at rehearsal. I looked over at Jessie and laughed. Our eyes met, and the laughter stopped.

We stared at each other for a moment. I touched her hand and led her out into the hall.

"Jess..." I said, leaning up against the wall.

"I know," she replied, looking down.

We stepped closer and closer to each other. I took her head in my hands and kissed her cheek gently, then stopped and looked at her. She looked up at me and blushed. "I... Mhm."

We kissed again, this time on the lips.

My stomach twisted and turned as I wrote. As I'm sure it would if this were to happen.

Our lips met and fell away, met and fell away. When we had to breathe, Jessie pulled away first and bit her lip.

"I'm sorry, I, I-"

"No," I said. "Don't be sorry. It was as much me as it was you.

We looked into each other's eyes, and I realized I had butterflies. She was beautiful. Her plump lips that felt so good to kiss, her bright blue eyes, the scent of vanilla on her neck. The way she laughed, her voice, the way she moved.

I couldn't breathe. And neither could she.

Jessie pulled my head to hers and kissed me again. We kissed harder and longer this time. I felt nothing except some kind of good, warm feeling. Everything else went blank except for her. Nothing else mattered, except for her.

In the middle of a kiss, we burst out laughing, my hands on her chest. I ran my finger along her collarbone. She looked up at me and grinned.

"Jess..." I said.

She nodded.

Breathing heavily, without thinking, we grabbed hands and walked back into the theater.

Diane looked over at us when we entered. "Where'd you guys go?"

Jessie and I looked over at each other, then away. Shit. What was I supposed to say? Maybe she would say something in the next three seconds...

But she didn't.

"Um, we were just talking," I said. "We, uh, had some stuff to go over."

Diane raised her eyebrows. "Oh. Okay then."

She started to turn away, then turned back. "There's something on your lip, Sara."

I quickly wiped it off. "Is that better?"

"Yeah," she said.

Then, she looked down at my and Jessie's hands interlocked.

Her eyes widened.

"What in the world."

Diane walked away. Jessie and I looked over at each other, panicked. We parted ways.

I stared at the note for what felt like hours once I was done typing. I wanted to cry. I wanted to cry because this girl was in my apartment, she was next to me while I dreamt this. And to think she wanted me to talk about this with her, HA!

I locked the note and closed the app. I switched my phone to airplane mode, set my alarm, put on my bedtime playlist, and tried to clear my mind. I didn't want to think about how things would be in the morning.