What Baking Can Do

Not Like The Rest I've Seen

If I dreamt again that night I don't recall what it was about. The smell of coffee consumed my senses immediately as I woke up. The calming aroma was enough to keep me awake without dozing off to wait for my alarm. The relaxed state I was in quickly vanished as my mind started to think about Jessie being in my apartment. I hopped out of bed and I walked over to a mirror to see how presentable I was. I threw on a sweatshirt over the shirt I slept in, fixed my hair back into a bun, and headed quietly for the bathroom so I could freshen up without it being too obvious.

I opened my door to the faint sound of someone humming.

This girl was making coffee and humming.

This girl slept over, was making coffee, and is now adding the sweet gentle sound of her voice.

I take a deep breath and remind myself that we're friends. I stare into the mirror and tell myself that this is no big deal, it was just a dream. As I walked into the living room I see that she's already folded the blankets and neatly placed the pillows with them on one side.

"Oh! Hi! Good mornin! I hope you don't mind I made coffee? I wasn't sure if you ate anything for breakfast but I figured this would save you a little time before rehearsal today."

Judging by the way she said "good morning" I feel I may have startled her, yet she's so sweet.

"Order up!" she said with a mocking voice

I laughed and continued "ordered up is how the day will find me!"

But I couldn't continue because we both started laughing.

"There's no escaping the musical," I said before I sipped my coffee.

She watched with a smile while trying to read my reaction of how it tasted. Meanwhile, I was fixed on her beauty. Her smile is so genuine. It's also a wonder how anyone can look so cute after just waking up. We both got ready to leave, I let her borrow a shirt for the day so she wouldn't have to make another trip home before we headed to rehearsals. She gave me back the sweatpants I let her wear so she didn't have to sleep in jeans. Everything seemed normal between us on the outside. 

Before the run-through of the show started a bunch of us were pulled aside to be reminded that a photo shoot was coming up for a big name magazine. These things usually make me nervous but I was looking forward to spending more time with the women of our cast and crew. As we parted from our group Jessie pulled me aside to thank me for the sleepover. She walked away and the night kept replaying in my head, this morning, and even our commute here. Aside from my nervous self and overthinking, my time spent with her was calming.

"Hey, Sara? You ready?" Diane asked

"Yeah! Let's run through it."

As everyone took their place. I think we were all anxious to get into the theater for rehearsals, but this space was home to us for now. I regretted once again for having these types of thoughts the minute I saw Jessie take her place but it didn't stop them from occurring. We ran through the first few scenes and I fell into a hole of relating parts to my relationship with Jessie. (I ended up doing this a lot during rehearsals since that night.)

I've been working on this project for a while now so there were times when the songs formed other meanings for me. "What's Inside" was in front of me and consuming my mind. I glanced at my notes, lyrics and all but started to lose focus from the actors. I used to joke that the line "everyone wants to know what's inside" was how people ask about your day when all you want to do is be left alone. Next thing you know "Opening Up" is happening, lively choreography and all. Today has not been "like the rest I've seen" but a part of me liked the idea of waking up to Jess in my apartment. Hell, we quoted this song.

Diane tapped me on the shoulder to get my attention and I snapped back into reality. We talked per usual but I was distracted and knew I had to get what was on my mind out. I thought about talking to her about it after practice but in a way, it felt too soon.

Scenes went on as they should and aside from being in my feelings something wasn't right. "Everything Changes" was starting and it felt different. This wasn't from me thinking about Jessie, it was something in her deliverance. She's done this countless times but it seemed like she wasn't there. The more I thought about it the more I realized this has been happening the entire show, well for the parts I was paying attention to.

After the last scene, everyone gathered their things and started to head out. I grabbed Jessie's arm after quickly walking up behind her.

"Hey, are you okay?"

"Yeah, why?"

"You're super quiet since we've been here and you've sounded halfway choked up all through rehearsal. You're not as spunky."

Jessie just shrugged and tried to walk away, but I pulled her back. I knew her better than that.

"What's up? We can go in the hall and talk if you want?"

She nodded. Leaning up against a wall, we stood for a moment in silence.

"Tell me," I said finally, looking over at her.

She sighed and fiddled with the apron she would normally wear over her waitress uniform.

"I don't know. I'm just tired and insecure and stressed out... - and I think I'm getting a cold."

She looked down, a little teary-eyed. I wanted to fix everything, even if it was just a simple bad day. Everyone had them, but everyone wasn't Jessie. I started to think about last night. Hoping the walk in the cold, cheap food, and the sleepover, in general, didn't mess with her immune system.

"I understand," I replied. "It'll be okay. And I'm here if you want to talk more. You know that, right?"

She nodded. I pulled her into a hug, kissing her forehead softly, hoping she couldn't feel how fast my heart was beating. "Love you, you've got this."

"Love you, too," she replied, her head on my shoulder. The contact gave me a warm feeling. Different from our previous hugs.

When we pulled away, I saw that a single tear had slipped down her cheek.

"Hun," I said, wiping it off with my thumb, "are you sure it's not something more?"

"Yeah. I'm just dramatic." She let out a soft little laugh.

I smiled. "It happens. Did you want to do something later? We can have a night in and relax if that'll help.

"Okay," she replied, grinning. "Sure."

As we parted ways, she reached for my hand.

"You alright?" I asked.

"Yeah."