Who We Are: Book 3 Of The Pure Love Trilogy

Chapter 8

I stand gobsmacked. Love? Love is a strong word. What is love? I don't even know.

You can't just love somebody. Even though it is something I have always wanted and always dreamed about, I don't want it just because. I want it so that I can be happy again.

My parents for example have a love that no amount of hates, fights, bad words or bad days can break. They have true love and that is what I want.

True love to show me what I am missing, what I need. Love to make the empty hole inside of me full.

That is what I want.

"What?" They all watch me while I process the shock and then Carla speaks up "he liked it when you were a whore and when you stopped being your true self he realized that he missed it and now wants you to be his whore" I glare at her.

"Call me many things, but a whore I am not" she rolls her eyes at me "yeah at least I can admit to something"

"At least I don't fuck anything with balls" she snarls "at least I don't fuck my best friend"

"Yeah you do" she goes silent and I nod. Thought so, I wonder what her problem with me is.

The only reason she is in this group is because she loves to fuck, she rides them better than she rides a horse, and she is a world champion horseback rider.

Compared to miss juice, Miranda, she makes Miranda look like a virgin.

That and I don't have best friends. I used to have one, Cole, but that is in the past. I take the small box out of my jacket pocket and take out a stick.

Lighting my cigarette I look at Mike again "you don't love me Mike, you love the way I fuck, but not me" I turn to walk away and go upstairs.

As I open the front door, someone grabs my wrist making me stop "Mike, just don't touch Cole again."

His face turns to anger "this is exactky it!! I have told him so many times to mke you hate him, I told him to make you despise his whole being; to make you want him dead, but the fucker wouldn't listen. So I made him understand everytime. You care for him and I care for you and you don't understand what that feels like" I feel myself boil with rage.

"Don't understand what it feels like?! I literally had Cole's brother take my virginity to make Cole jealous, to make Cole stop dating other girls, but it didn't work because this shit; is real life not some fairytale. In this life plans and things go wrong and apparently I choose the wrong people. So don't ever tell me that I don't understand. Never touch Cole and his friends again or I will have you killed with one phone call." With one last glare and drag to my cigarette, I turn around to leave.

He grabs my wrist again and I grab his arm flipping him onto the floor "don't touch me, don't talk to me and don't even look my way!!! All you motherfuckers can go die" with that I leave.

I get onto my bike and make my way home, all the way into the garage and safely in control of my anger.

I see that my parents are home and take a few deep breaths. Opening the door I notice only my parents and decide to ignore the fact that Cole left.

I know he probably had a good reason. Walking past my parents and upstairs I walk to my room and flop onto my bed.

How dare Mike tell me that I don't understand what he feels like? Please, I probably know better than any of them.

I can't believe that I was associated with those people. I thought I was fucked up before, but now I know that I REALLY am fucked up.

I walk downstairs again to get some coffee and as I enter the kitchen my mom lights up.

"Emily, today I spoke to Michaela and she said that everybody loved dessert, I also found out that you will be attending the banquet with us next week, I also want to say thank you for being so helpful around the house" my headache is getting worse.

"Did you have a good day honey?" I groan and roll my eyes "fuck yes mom can you now shut the fuck up" my dad immediately looks at me.

"Hey, don't you ever fucking speak to your mother like that! Do you know what it feels like to be at work and come home to a child swearing you? Your mother does a lot and heck if it wasn't for her you wouldn't be here. You have no right to speak like that. If you ever do I will lock you in your fucking room and have a guard make sure you do nothing else but read for a fucking month! SO DON'T YOU EVER FUCKING TALK TO MY WIFE AND YOUR MOTHER LIKE THAT AGAIN!!! Do you understand me young girl?!"

I gulp, he is really angry and I shouldn't have acted that way "I undserstand dad, sorry mom. Please forgive me,I have no idea what came over me" they both give me understanding looks and then I give my mom a hug and another apology.

Now my dad smiles "okay great, I will have someone come over and take you shopping for a dress for the banquet. It is very important for your mother"

I nod and we all have a quick dinner before I give them each a kiss on the cheek and run upstairs to take a shower.

I let the warm water relax my muscles and sing along to 'The Main' until I am done and dressed in my zebra onesy.

I grab my computer and flop onto my bed with all the lights off as I sit and watch Angry Birds and all sorts of movies for the rest of the night.