Love, The Hardest Way (Ville Valo & Emerson Burton Fan Fic.)

Chapter 10

** Raven´s P.O.V. **

I woke up pretty early and got out of bed as quietly as i could so that Burton could sleep in, which was kinda hard considering that i was due in just a few weeks but he really needs it, he's been looking after me all this time i bet he's tired. I took a hot shower and got ready for the day, i decided to make some breakfast, starting with a fresh pot of coffee.

I'm not sure how we're gonna work this out, i think i still have feeling for Ville but i don't think i can trust him like i used to, he lied to me and all this time i believed him and Burton was there when i needed someone by my side the most and he did it without asking for something in return and now i  feel something for Burton.

As i was flipping pancakes i felt a pair of warm arms wrap themselves around my huge belly , i smiled and closed my eyes turning around embracing the manly body that was pulling me closer to him and kissing me ever so softly. The kiss became more passionate and the taste of cigarettes made me a bit nauseous so i tried pulling away but he wouldn't let me, i opened my eyes and saw Ville's piercing green eyes staring back at me.

- Ville!! Let me go!.- I demanded loudly.

- I . . . I . . .  i'm sorry raven, sorry i didn't mean to.- Ville said looking at me like a wounded puppy and rubbing the back of his neck.

- Um . . . It's, it's  fine, just don't try that again.- I said straightening my shirt and getting back to making pancakes, i could feel my face grow hot with embarrassment.

- So um, how far are you?.- He asked getting himself a cup of coffee.

- I'm due in just a few weeks.- I replied handing him a plate of pancakes.

- Do you guys know what it is?.- He sounded a bit upset when he asked, was he jealous of Janne for taking care of me? i don't really think he has the right to feel  jealous he was the one walked away.

- No, we want it to be a surprise but Janne thinks it's a girl and i think it's a boy.-  I said setting a plate for Janne and one for me.

- Oh, that's good.- 

Awkward silence . . . 

- I'm gonna go wake Janne up.- I said putting down my cup of coffee, Ville quickly grabbed my hand and pulled me loser to him. I swear i could hear his heart pounding in his chest trying to get in sync with mine.

- Ville what are you doing?.- I asked trying to look away but his eyes were locked with mine barely blinking.

-  Raven, i don't know what to do anymore, i know what i did was wrong but i don't know how to fix it, please tell me what to do.-  He held me closer to him and i could really see the how lost and hurt he felt it made my heart break to see him like that.

- It's ok Ville, you don't have to do anything you don't want. I'm not gonna ask you to do anything for us it's up to you.-  I gave him a hug and let him go but he grabbed my hand again.

- I still love you Raven.-

- I don't know if i still love you.- I replied looking down, i didn't want to look him in the eye, i knew that if i did i would give in.

- Please ray, give me another chance i promise you won't regret it.-

- I don't know Ville, you . . . .-  He cut my sentence short with his soft velvety lips, i was overwhelmed with feelings and i let myself go, i gave in and let his warm sweet breath fill my senses. I realized i wanted to be with him like i had before, i wanted him back in my life desperately, i love Ville. We kissed for i don't know how long until the lack of air made our lips part and that's when i saw him, standing at the kitchen door looking at us with tears welding up in his eyes, he cleared his throat and wiped away the salty tears.

 - Sorry i didn't mean to interrupt.- He turned on his heel and went back up stairs.

- Janne wait!.- I started behind him but Ville stopped me.

- Let him go, he needs to be alone right now.-

- He needs an explanation Ville, i can't just let him leave like that, he's my best friend.-

I dropped Ville's hand and went up stairs ti find Janne.  I found him in  the guest room where he had stayed when he first moved in with me, he pulled out all of his clothes from the closet and these were scattered all over the place, he was sitting on the floor next to the window. He looked devastated and torn and it was all my fault. I knocked  on the half open door.

- Can  i come in?.- I said in a small voice.

- Oh, um yeah sure.- he replied wiping his eyes and sitting on the bed.

- Janne i'm sorry, i'm so sorry i didn't want to hurt you like that. You've done so much for me.- I said sitting beside him.

- You don't have to apologize, the heart wants what it wants and we can't do anything about it, we can try to fight it but eventually it'll win in some cases.-  He replied holding my hand.

- I wish i could do something about it but i can't hide what i feel for Ville, i love him.-

- I understand raven just promise me that youl'll take care of yourself and the baby and if you need anything just call ok?.-

He gave me a sad smile then kissed my forehead and left. I felt so sad watching him leave like that so heartbroken but i wanted to try things again with Ville i wasn't sure if it would work out. I walked into my room wiping away my tears and Ville was laying on the bed.

- He's gone.- I said bitterly.

- Are you ok love?.- he asked sitting up next to me.

- I'll be fine Ville, could you just leave me alone for a bit? i want to take a nap.-  I answered him hiding my face so he couldn't see the tears spilling from my eyes.

- Sure darling, i'll be downstairs if you need anything.-

He said leaving the room and closing the door. I took off my shoes, crawled under the blankets and finally started weeping my eyes out until i couldn't cry anymore and sleep took over.