Kiss Virgin

Hidden

"Is there something you're not telling me." Ember asked urgently, quickly getting out of her black jeep and walking towards Adeline's car window.

"I...it's just that Liam hasn't responded to me...it's not like him to not say goodnight before he goes to sleep. He could be hurt..I'm-"

I rambled on. I didn't know how to make this sound urgent without telling her about Liam.

I couldn't do that to him. It was his secret.

"Okay, so you woke me up early in the morning  after not talking to me in months to see if your boyfriend is asleep or not? Really Adeline, I should have known and here I thought that you were going to tell me that you-" Ember suddenly stopped yelling, closed her eyes for a moment, and ran her fingers through her hair.

It was obvious she was frustrated.

I can tell by the way she was yelling, how her fingers tugged the ends of her hair, and the glossy appearance of her eyes, that this was mentally draining her.

She wanted to cry but she fought so hard not to.  Rolling her eyes up every once in a while and taking soft breaths, she took a step forward  but quickly stepped back.

As much as I wanted to hug her, to make her feel better and to apologize for being such a bitch these couple of months, I just couldn't.

How would she even accept my apologize? It was too late to say sorry for the things I've done. I hurt her too much.

The day after she kissed me, 4 months ago, she called and messaged me a dozen times but I never once responded.

She kept doing it everyday, desperately trying to get a hold of me, but I was stuck.

I was stuck between Liam and Ember.
Two months after, I finally came to terms with my sexuality. I finally admitted to myself that I was bi.

I cried a lot that day.
I didn't tell anyone.

I was afraid of  getting too close to Ember, I didn't want to hurt Liam. Keeping my distance was the best I could have done to Ember, I couldn't hurt the two of them.

I just couldn't trust myself around her.
The more time and space I put between me and Ember, made me fall deeply for Liam.

He was this pure, innocent, and loving but tormented soul that needed me as much as I needed him.

The moment Liam opened up to me about his abusive stepfather, I knew I just couldn't leave him. He trusted me.

I shook my head gently, rising my eyes to look at the person I hurt the most.

Under the street lamps, we both stood there, Ember glancing at me every so often while looking around the park.

The quiet...it was just too much for me, it was hurting me knowing we couldn't talk about it. I couldn't think about this. I already wasted enough time. Liam needed me. He could be hurt right now.

"It's bigger than that. Please. I just can't tell you. I-I-I...just trust me please. " I blurted out, stuttering after every word.

Ember looked back at me, a hint of disappointment in her eyes.

"Okay, let's go to Liam's." Her voice came off as a whisper. She was afraid that I could hear the weakness of her voice, trying so desperately not to cry.

"We should park our cars here. We don't want to struggle finding parking."

"Thank you Ember." I looked up, smiling softly at her.

She forced a small smile.
.............................................................................
We walked side by side, silently crossing the street that led to Liam's house.

Reality hit me.

Liam could possibly be in pain right now. What if I took too long to come to his aid? As quickly as the thoughts formed into my mind, I began breathing heavily and sobbing quietly.

Ember's puzzled face turned towards me, hesitating for a quick second, but eventually wrapped her arms around my body.

"It's okay Addy. He's gonna to be okay." Her voice sounded hopeful but it couldn't soothe my anxiety. She didn't know what that bastard of his stepfather was capable of doing.

Ember rubbed circles on the middle of my back, urging me forward until we were standing right in front of Liam's door.

"What do I do Ember?" I quickly looked at her. I started fidgeting with my fingers.

She quickly glanced at my fingers before responding.

"You knock Addy."

"Okay." I knocked lightly.

"Maybe a little louder Addy." She smiled at me, encouraging me to continue. She reached for my hand, wrapping it around hers.

This time I knocked a little too loud.

"Who the hell is that?" An older man's voice yelled behind the door.

I jumped.

Before I could think about what I was going to say, the door swung open.