Kiss Virgin

My beautiful Ember

"I'm trying...I really am. I don't want to be sad anymore. I don't want to hurt myself anymore. I don't want to hurt people around me. I don't want you to hate me Ember. I want Liam back. I don't want him to hurt me anymore. He told me he wouldn't do it anymore. He promised. Why did he lie? It's not his fault...."

I bit my lip until I bled, trying so desperately to breath slowly.

"That's not like him. He's so sweet. It's his stepfather....that's why when Liam gets mad, he hurts me a little. But it's okay, he always feels bad about it. It's never his fault. He's hurting...I shouldn't make him mad sometimes. I need to find him Ember. I need Liam.."

I looked up at Ember.

I knew I was hurting her, the pain in her eyes were clear.

She didn't talk, not once after I told her he hit me before.

"Ember, I don't deserve you. I was a bitch to you. You should hate me. I wouldn't blame you. I hate myself. I'm a worthless piece of shit. Nobody cares about me except Liam. My parents could care less about me. They forgot it was my birthday. That's pathetic. They didn't even call me or send me a birthday card. I haven't talked to them in weeks. I have no friends. Zoe hasn't talked to me in weeks now. Liam is all I have. I-I-I can't lose him. Please help me find him....Ember, please..."

Ember looked back at me, tears in her eyes.

"Why...why didn't you tell me Adeline. I-I could have helped. "

"I couldn't do that to you. You needed to be happy. Happy with someone else Ember."

"You hurt me really badly Addy. I couldn't sleep for weeks. It hurt to see you with Liam, walking in the hallways and holding hands. It hurt to see you string me along for a while then... you just stopped talking to me."

Her voice was almost inaudible.

"I had to. I didn't want to hurt you. You found someone...Blake is a nice guy...I just wasn't...wasn't really happy for you. I didn't want to see you with someone. I almost called you a couple of times when I found out...that-t you were dating him. Why him? Why did you have to move on so quickly?

I looked away in embarrassment, playing around with my fingernails. I hated being vulnerable. It was weak. I promised myself nobody would ever see me cry yet ember seen me cry the most.

"What did you expect Addy? For me to stay in the sidelines and see you and Liam together...it hurt, it really did. But I had to move on. "

Ember took a step back away from Adeline, staring at the midnight sky.

"Yeah, of course it was easy. Nobody ever stays. Everyone always leaves me. My parents, you, Zoe, and now....Liam. It's sad how I try so hard not to get attached to people..you know...so I wouldn't be disappointed when they finally do leave me because that's what they do. They leave me all alone. "

I reached for my phone and started dialing Liam.

"Stop calling him Addy."

Ember reached out, grabbing the phone away from me.

"he's not right for you. If he loved you, he wouldn't have done that. He shouldn't have done that. That's not love Addy."

Ember grabbed onto me tightly, arms wrapped around my torso and refused to let go.

"Bull shit. Don't act like you know about our relationship Ember. I love him. He cared about me. He was there for me when nobody else was. He trusted me with his secret. He loved me no matter what. He made me feel happy and beautiful for once in my life. I wasn't so sad anymore. At times when he hit me I-I-I was but it was just for a while. If I cared about him like he said I should, I would love all of him, the bad and the good. He was mine until I messed it up."