Blue//LRH

11) Blue

     Because more people are coming into the story here are the names:
Luke and the boys as the boys
Ben and Jack - Luke's brothers
Alisha-step mom
Jessica-main girl(Jess)
Isadora(Izzy)-Jess' older sister
Kaitlyn-couin('Uncle Bryan's' adopted daughter)//only ever mentioned
Jacklyn-Jess' twin('Uncle Bryan's other adopted daughter/niece)
Uncle Bryan-Jess', Jacklyn and Izzy's uncle
Scott- Izzy's husband
Later on comes in a couple more people...... You'll have to wait and see
-Aliss-ugh19 xx
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        As I feel the warmth spread across my body I shake, not from cold, but from fear and confusion.

   "Whatever word that describes being broken, but not by a lover. Lost, but not because I'm alone. Unassertive, but not because I'm not confident. I feel
Engaged in the fact that my entire life, people were lying. Whatever word that is, that's how I feel"  I say as I hear my voice choke up as I feel the lump forming in my throat.

"So you feel blue?" He asks as he rubs my shoulders from my elbow, him being the source of warmth my body is receiving.

"If I felt like that I could have just said 'sad', Luke." I said kinda agitated.

"...Not that Jess, never mind." Sighing afterward.

I just sat their, back pressed up against his chest. Sometimes I feel like he doesn't even understand me. How could he? He has the perfect family. Mom and Dad not divorced, live together....alive. Ben and Jack who are supportive of him. They are close. I want to be close with my sister......sisters.

"How did you and your brothers get this bond?"

"A lifetime together kinda helps" he jokes, "look, your sister needs you right now. Be a supporter for them, you have a supporter, me. So be hers. It's not like the dad of this child is here to help her through this amazing but terrifying time."

"Really? Scott comes back Luke, he leaves for like 2 weeks for work and comes back. My sister is a grown woman she can support herself. I however need time."

"I wasn't talking about Izzy" Luke says, voice barely audible.

I look at him, his body no longer bringing me warmth. My blood boiling is doing that for me. To him, my stare is cold.

"Why in the hell would I help her? Support her? SHE KNEW AND NEVER TOLD ME. SHE NEVER SUPPORTED ME OR WAS THERE FOR ME AND SHE KNEW. SHE HAS NO EXCUSES. SHE COULD'VE BUT INSTEAD SHE CHOSE TO BE MAD AT THE EARTH AND F**K AWAY HER PROBLEMS WITH THE FIRST DESPERATE SENIOR SHE SEES, DOES WEED, PIERCES EVERY VISIBLE PART OF HER BODY TO LOOK BAD ASS AND YOU WANT ME TO HELP HER?"

"She may have known about you, but she also doesn't know things that you do. And why did you need support? You were fine. You had me she had no one. She was mad because she was chosen to be given away, you were chosen to be kept. She had sex once and got pregnant I wouldn't consider that being a slut like everyone says. She sniffed weed she didn't even get high off it. She's under age so she can only get piercings under parents consent, meaning your aunt and uncle agreed. That's their fault because they let her. And it's not to look bad ass it's cause she wants it. I have a piercing, and I'm not bad ass.
*fetus*

"How do you know so much about my sister?"

"I get told these things. Oh and by the way, she didn't sleep with a senior"

"Then who?"

"A junior"

"How do you know?"

"I was told all about it"

"By who?"

"The junior"

"WHO IS HE?!?!?"

"Jess"

"WHO?"

"Michael"

"No"

"Jess-"

"No"

"JESSICA' he screamed, not to from anger but to get my attention 'it's your sister, help her"

"and Michael is like your brother, you didn't help him when the mental illness in his head was telling him TO HAVE SEX WITH MY SISTER ENTERED HIS BRAIN!"

"I don't control him"

"UGH YOU FREAKING IDOIT"

"I'm sorry, but I told you eventually."

"Wait, you knew she was my sister?"

".......only since your step mom died."

"Still!!!! And oh my god why does Michael have such bad taste in girls, my sister?!?!???"

"I know right."

" Oh shut up, you realize you haven't even had a real girlfriend Luke."

"Doesn't matter, I have really good taste. You should see this girl I'm into right now, oh my....what a beauty."

I roll my eyes. "I'm gonna go help my sister."

"Wait actually? Jess, I'm proud of you."

I pause to look at him. The attitude really sticking out of my voice when I say
"Izzy. I'm going to help Izzy."

"Of course" Luke sighs rubbing his eyes.

"See ya...."

"In my dreams....." He said extremely quietly, I guess he didn't want me to hear. So I granted him his wish and just walked out the door.

I got back from my sisters at around 10:00pm so I just started writing in my journal everything I feel that I needed to let out, maybe once that's done, I'll be more excited about being an aunt. I was writing what I was thinking about while I was in Luke's arm when I saw something. I always go over the first letter of an important word with my pen a bunch of times. So when I wrote 'being broken, but not by a lover. Lost, but not because I'm alone. Unassertive, but not because I'm not confident. I feel
Engaged in the fact that my entire life, people were lying.' It looked like:
Broken, not by lover, Lost, not alone, Unassertive, but confident, Engaged my entire life no one told me. I suddenly remember what Luke said after I told him this. "So you feel blue?"
B
L
U
E

How did he pick that out of what I said?