Blue//LRH

34)Get used to it

         All day at school I was thinking about how they are actually on the radio. My best friends and boyfriend are on the radio. The single is garbage too. If it was good that's a different story but it sucked. "In my American apparel underwear" was being sung all around school along with certain people saying "yeah, you know the really hot guy Ashton Irwin? He would come by and pick up Caylum, Lucas and Mitchel? He's the drummer in this band!" Someone actually had the brain to join the conversation and so absent mindly say "so, where are Caylum Lucas and Mitchel?" And her friend "who cares? I wanna know if I knew the other 4 boys!"

I couldn't bear to listen to this anymore so I had to bud in. "It's 3 other boys."

"But they're called five seconds of summer."

I flare my nostrils and leave. Are they being for real right now? Ashton didn't even go to our freaking school.

      During our school announcements they offered this huge part just to honering how young kids in our school have followed their dreams and made it. This dream required for them to drop out of this hell hole. Its a shitty single not the kickoff to the rolling stones' career. Don't get me wrong, I'm so proud of them but it isn't gonna be a success story. It's just gonna be a one time thing then their back in Sydney gonna go to school for some sort of trade. That's how it works here.

-

       Me, Izzy, Scott and little Lucas were at the airport waiting for Jacklyn, Alex and Zoey. The week is up and so is their time for being with the boys. I haven't spoken to the boys at all since I left. I told you my routine was literally school and home and homework. On the bright side I've figured out my problems, I'm in a better head space and you best believe I'm doing freaking well in school. I'm so excited to see my sister though. With just the short time we've spent together, she's the one I talk to about everything. Man, I can't wait for her to walk through those gates with Alex and Zoey......and the boys? The boys? Why are the boys walking behind them. Well except Michael and Ashton. Or Ashton and Mitchel. Michael was holding the baby and my sisters hand....odd. And Ashton was giving Zoey a piggy back through the airport. All of them giggling and laughing, Calum included. He's poking Alex's cheek and Alex is just having the time of his life. The last time I've seen Cal so happy is when he was playing with a dog.

      Luke just stared down at his phone, not joining in on the shenanigans. He isn't happy. He's just really focused and biting down on his lip. He's so consumed in what he's doing that I bet he doesn't even remember he's lugging around a luggage in his left hand and a jacket around his arm.

      They all approach us with open arms to give us hugs and us to give them warm welcomes. As I open my arms to hug Calum I couldn't help but look at Luke through my perpetual vision. He literally didn't look up from his phone until he got to Izzy who was holding Lucas. With his pointer finger he shut off the phone and placed it in his back pocket. He lifted Lucas and gave him a big kiss on the cheek. "Nice to meet ya buddy." Luke grins. If he is trying to make me jealous by kissing a baby he is really just being immature. "You know why you have such a great name? It's all cause of me. You can thank me when you learn how to talk." At that I couldn't help but giggle. I saw him take his eyes off the baby when I did. He just smiled. Not the type of smile where it's like 'that's right, you want me.' But the nice heartwarming smile.

Luke's POV

I couldn't not smile at that giggle. She can cure cancer and make the world at peace with just one smile and yet it's tearing me apart. I could just, as easy as breathing, go up to her and talk to her. But it's so hard to do something as easy  as breathing when I forget how to breathe. Zoey fucking killed me and we were just little wimps that thought holding hands was scandalous and we thought the worse thing in the world was not being able to eat a cookie after dinner. Yet it meant everything and took years to get over, I don't even want to think about how Jess is making me feel because how am I gonna take it every time I have to tell I have to leave. How am I gonna take it if one day she says I'm over it. How the hell am I gonna take it when it's over. It's gonna be over sooner than I think if I keep ignoring her but I can't talk to her! I'm terrified. I told her that I let Zoey hurt me, I won't let her hurt me. {chapter 32} I crave her love but I'm horrified that it will ruin me. She's coming to me. It's now or never Luke. It could end here, but make it worth something.

Jess' POV

"Hey sleepy head." I said referring to his bed hair under his black vans beanie. He just smiled. I need something. My eyes become heavy as it holds the water ready to spill. "Can I have a hug?" It came out with as much desperation as urge. I flick my tongue across my bottom lip instead of biting down it.

"Save it for the next goodbye."

I couldn't even process words. I just let out a chocking breath and looked at him with sorrowful eyes, tears now appearing. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Jessa, that isn't-"

"Don't you dare call me that." I say in the same tone one would say are you kidding me right now? I'm not going to raise my voice because we are in an airport and I swear if there is one more fight I'm throwing my hands up in surrender.

"That's your name."

"My name is Jessica. I'm not the 5 years old and my mom isn't baking cookies for me in the kitchen. If I want cookies I either have to go out and buy them or make them myself. The same way as if you don't want this you have to tell me."

"Jess, I'm not going to hold you and tell you it's okay when I'm leaving again."

"You don't have to hold me and tell me it's okay! And you're leaving again? We're in the airport for you coming home." My voice is getting louder by the second.

"I told you we have to go LA for the release."

"That's not until the summer!"

"There is preparation."

"Luke it's music or me, I have people here I can be getting to know and things to be doing but for the past while I've been isolating myself and working on myself because I wanted to be okay for when you came home because i didn't wanna be the fucked up girl you have to fix all the time, and it was working damn well until I heard your stupid shitty voice on the radio and everything fell apart again."

"This is already hard enough for me-"

"Hard to what? Put a decent song on the radio? No kidding."

"We worked hard on that." Michael buds in.

"Yet people from our own school don't even know your name and they only know the band because of the hot drummer from our town so stop acting like some big shot."

I remember what I just said to myself about throwing my hands im surrender.

"I'm done." I say as I open Luke's hand to give him my necklace but he retaliates.

"Don't fucking touch me and get used to hearing shitty my voice on the radio because its not stopping any time soon."

A/N:

This was painful to write. I swear this is the last fight they will have before the book ends. Xx