Unchained Heart

Chapter 12

When I got outside of the building I didn't get far when I saw Andre and Morris standing in the far parking lot at a car talking. Knowing that I had just made Andre feel like shit it was only fair that I made peace with him before I never got the opportunity. I took a deep breath of the frosty air and held it until I was close enough to the two of them to let it out and stay calm. Once I approached them all conversations quickly stopped and their eyes were on my face. The guilt that rose from the pit of my stomach when my eyes locked in Andre's never felt more real. I was doing as best as I could to not make this meeting seem off but everything about it was very different. Morris turned his whole body towards me hoping that I would say something but I couldn't get a word out. Morris shook his head and smiled because he could tell on my face that I was petrified.

"I'll leave you two alone." He giggled before he walked away.

Now I could feel my heart pounding furiously against my chest cavity. Andre was still looking at me wth an unreadable expression on his face. I never noticed it but his eyes showed that he was really hurting. Part of his hurt was my fault. The icy wind gently blew across my face making the already apparent chill in my body even more visible. I shrugged my shoulders as I stood and shivered a little in front of him.

"Get in the car mouse." Andre said with a soft and gentle voice.

I wanted to tell him no but for some reason the playfulness we used to have didn't seem the same for either of us especially after I had told him off in the house just moments ago. After about a minute I walked around to the passenger side of the car and got inside. Andre got in and closer the door and started the engine. Turing the heat on to medium he tilted my seat back a little bit to make me feel more comfortable. I have to admit for someone who was just cussed out and got his heart broken he's being awfully nice to me. It was almost like he wanted to cater to me when he didn't even have to. It was crazy but I kinda liked it! Prince used to do this all the time before I went back to school. This is what I missed for a long time. It was also what I've been waiting for. As we sat in silence I looked out of the window as the sky grew a little darker than before. The first snowflake began to fall from the sky with a graceful dance in the February breeze. Just as it finished floating it melted away against the now warm windshield. The click of the temperature dial brought me back out of my day dream as Andre turned the heat down to a more suitable range. He placed his hand on the steering wheel and wrapped his fingers tightly around it out of frustration. It was time to have this much needed conversation.

  "You wanna talk about it?" I asked him out of honest curiosity.

  "Do you?" He asked staring out the window.

My stomach was in knots. I couldn't tell if he was being serious or sarcastic but either way at least I got him to talk to me. It was actually a lot easier than I'd expected coming into all this. I tuned to face Andre as he kept his focus on what was going on with the snow outside the car.

  "You didn't have to do that you know." I said to him referring to that attempted knock out he did to his best friend.

  "Yes I did and he had it comin'." He snapped.

  "Andre why? You know how he is! Y'all would fight all the time and make up. All those other times you said he had it coming too but never once try to knock him out. What was so different about it this time?"

  "Regan he's cheating on you. You mean to tell me that what I just did for you wasn't warranted? I mean come girl wake up! You leave for a year and because he's impatient he decides to move on without giving you some type of heads up? You can't possibly tell me that you're ok with that!"

  "No Andre I'm not ok with that! But it's not easy for me to leave him when I need him."

  "Regan you need him. But think about it. Do you really think that he needs you now that he has Mayte? Don't answer right now just think about it. He's only worried about you now cuz your....."

His eyes began to well up as he thought about the fact that my life was now on a countdown clock.

  "Andre. I know this is hard for you. This is hard on all of us. I guess what I'm trying to say is......I'm sorry for what I said in there. I've just been so.......I don't know! Things just fucking suck and I can't handle it! I feel like I'm all alone! My mom is just as scare as I am and I can't leave her by herself! I don't want my mom to be alone! She needs me just like I need her! Her heart could barely handle losing my father!  Its gonna give out when she loses me too! I want to beat this! I want it to just go away but......i......."

Mid speech I just broke down and cried at the thought of leaving my mom behind. I think that was what scares me about my diagnosis the most. The fact of having cancer wasn't nearly as terrifying as thinking about what will happen the moment you take your last breath as your mom had to stand by your bedside and watch you slip away. That was one pain I knew I will never be strong enough to handle. Andre was now in tears as well as I bawled for my mom.

  "Your mama will not have to worry about any of that. Do you know why?" He asked me as he was able to get himself together quickly.

  "No why?"

  "Because I know deep down inside that you will fight this and win. I believe in you. I always have believed in you! I know you could be something great! I know what your worth is! You are......you're a fighter. Nobody can take that away from you."

Andre leaned in closer to me as he wiped away a few of my tears. When he was about to pull his hand away I grabbed on to it and held it to my face.

  "You really are a good friend Cymone. Thank you." I said to him smiling.

  "I know I am! I don't care how many times you want to cuss me out I'm always gonna be here for you. You're too fine to pass up mama."

Leave it to Andre to be his normal sick self again. Shaking my head and rolling my eyes he let out a laugh.

  "You will never grow up will you?" I giggled.

  "Come on baby you must not know who I am!" He joked.

We laughed for a while and unknowingly Andre placed his right hand on my left thigh. When I noticed I looked up at him still holding my smile. He looked back at me as his eyes lit up with his smile still on his face. I wrapped my fingers around his hand as we looked back at one another. I leaned in slowly and gave him a small peck on the cheek.

  "Thank you Andre."

  "For what?"

  "For just......being you."

It had all happened so fast that it caught me off guard. Andre's lips came full speed into mine. It was the most amazing kiss in the world. I thought I had already died and went to heaven and it was better than the sex session Prince and I had behind Paisley Park. For some reason this felt right. He pulled away quickly and was in shock.

  "Oh shit! Mouse! I'm sorry! That will never happen again. That was foul." He said worried.

I place a finger over his lips to quiet him down. I smiled at him happily while I looked deep into his eyes. They were never so brown before. They were something out of a love song. I brought my lips closer to his.

  "It's alright. I kinda liked it." I whispered to him.

  "This feels wrong. What about Skipper?"

  "It's fine. I ended it before I came out here to find you."

  "Mouse........I-"

  "Shhhhhhh. It's ok. Just let it happen."

We leaned him closer and fell into a deep passionate kiss. Nothing could pull us away from each other. Except for five taps on the window.