You changed my life [Rammstein]

Chapter 04: D... for destroyed

Emil releases the paper bag that he's holding then takes the gun, that is attached to his belt, and fires a shot at the man. He picks the provisions and comes, in speed, towards the car.

He balances the bags to the back seat then turns the engine and starts in precipitation. Meanwhile, I look at the pointer and see it speeding up to 100 km / h.

-You- You killed him !! I exclaim, shocked.

-Shut up ! He yells, fixing the road.

-He is dead and the police will be at your heels now. I continue.

-I SAID SHUT UP, FUCK !! His hands are clenched on the steering wheel.

-I'm not afraid of you, Emil... I spit with hater.

-You want to follow him to hell, right? Okay, I'll show you the shortest way.

The guy parks his car and I notice that we are again in a forest but it's darker than the other. He gets out of the car and I hear him rummaging in the trunk before getting back to me.

-GET OUT!! He says in order.

A shiver goes through my back, I just revealed the other side of Emil and he's on his nerves. I must not push him further.

-I'm hurt, I can't move my foot.

-I don't care, move your ass and get out.

I fight against my pain and get out of the car with fear and then he throws a shovel at my feet.

-Pick it and start digging! He says in the same tone of order.

-Dig what? I ask him, feeling the fear in my guts.

-Your grave, fuck! This time I will not go back and I'll kill you!

My heart misses a beat, I really pushed him further. I'm stupid to have so easily forgotten the first rule.

I pick up the shovel and move away, limping, deeper. If I have to dig my grave, I prefer it to be in a safe place. I examine my injury and begin to dig.

The sound of the door slamming attracts my attention and I turn around to see the young-man coming to me, he's holding his gun in one hand, while the other one grabs a bottle of pure-vodka.

He removes the bottle cap and starts drinking and forcing me to dig with his gun pointed at me.

-Dig faster, I will not spend the night here. He orders after a long moment of silence, still drinking.

-I have no power for that, plus I'm starving...

-I don't care ! He says, drunk. You wanted it.

I try to dig again but my hands give way and I let the shovel fall into an audible sound, and then fall to my knees.

-Please don't kill me... I beg whispering breathlessly.

-You- He starts looking at me with glassy eyes then adds: No... I'm not going to kill you, all this beauty will be a mess if I let it go like that.

-What is he meaning by this? I wonder but everything gets cleared up in my head.

-Shit ! Shit ! Shit ! No, not that !!

Emil approaches ,in slow steps, towards me and I crawl back to the rear. I understand now what he means and refuse to let him do it without a fight.

-Kill me... I ask him, always retreating. With the gun it will be faster, and I'll not feel the pain.

-This is not my intention. Responds the brunette and with two steps, he's near me.

He gets me up and puts his face in my neck. He puts his lips to the soft skin and caresses it. I shiver and try to push him away.

-Emil, I beg you... not this...

-Let yourself go... He whispers against my ear.

With a sudden movement I find myself back against the hard and cold ground, and feel the hands of the guy running around on my body. I struggle once more but my strength seems to have left me.

His hands gets down and I feel him open the button of my jeans. I squirm under his weight and try to prevent him from doing more.

-Stop squirming, it excites me even more. He whispers against my ear. I don't intend to do anything if you don't cooperate.

-Emil stop... I beg you. I start to cry.

But Emil doesn't listen and continues to drop my pants and then slides a hand under my tank top, then with the other he strokes my privacy through the fabric.

Face down ...
Too guilty to be happy

Right inside ...
Too guilty to be happy

Face Down ...
Too guilty to be happy.

Right inside ...
Too guilty to be happy.

I close my eyes and let him do it, useless to struggle. I remember very well the doctor Sheppard's advice, the father of my friend...

~ FLASH BACK ~

-If one of you six finds herself in a situation of rape in the point of no return, don't fight back... release all.

-But dad... that's not what we should do. Timidly said his daughter.

-I know... but it's better to let him do that, then incur the suffers of after the rape. When the body tenses, it makes a terrible friction.

~ END OF FLASHBACK ~

I hear him unbuckling his belt, by its metallic sound. The sharp sound of the zipper follows. Then I feel him taking away the fabric that hides my privacy.

I lust for...
Thrill and danger.

Don't trust me...
I've Said it all before.

Believe me...
I want forgiveness.

You see me...
Stripped and naked.

I live for...
A taste of violence

I'm dying...
To get Reviews another breath.

Emil spits in his hand and I doubt that he's lubricating himself. I want to fight a last time but I feel more and more weak. He caresses me yet again and his lips run along my neck, biting me in passing.

-Look at me in the eyes, Jim... He whispers sensually.

I don't want to stay so long, then I cut the contact between my body and my soul and I don't know what's happening around me. I feel like a dead in a body which is mine.

I feel nothing more and it's a good sign, because I don't want to feel the pain of the forced union.

After a long time, I feel the brown falling on me then he gets up but immediately loses consciousness. I wear my pants and then crawl up to a tree where I fall in the darkness after him.

Face down ...
Too guilty to be happy.

Right inside ...
Too guilty to be happy.

face Down
Too guilty to be happy.

Right inside ...
Too guilty to be happy ...

to be continued...