You changed my life [Rammstein]

Chapter 13: I'm What !?

I look at Jacob and then at his daughter trying to understand what I just heard. I can't be pregnant having done it only two times with one guy. Can I?

-In Which month or week am I? I ask the doctor.

-Almost the second month, it's Emil Reinke's son, isn't it? He worries.

-Who do you think then? I respond with anger but soon calm down when I see him surprised. Sorry, I didn't want to yell at you, but I am troubled...

The doctor gets up from his seat and comes behind me, then puts his hands on my shoulders to calm me down.

-I understand your upset feeling to find out that you're pregnant with your kidnapper's baby. He retorts.

-It's not this, I'm just afraid of the reaction that will have my parents if they know about it.

-You mean... you'll keep the baby? Mika wonders.

-I Keep my baby anyway. I say, patting my belly. But you must promise me not to tell the Carters.

-But my duty as a doctor persists in putting your parents aware of the situation to avoid war with them.

-Don't tell them anything, please. I beg him with my sweet eyes. At least until I'm out.

-You're intending to escape, Jim? Says my friend with surprise.

-I don't know... I say, shaking my head negatively. I feel lost...

I ask the doctor permission to dispose off his office and go out with my girl friend to the wilderness corridor in time of crossbred.

-Jim I- Starts Michaela but I stop her.

-Stop being sorry for me, Mika. I blow. I will keep the child...

-And are you going to tell his father about it? She asks with interest.

-I don't know, but please don't say anything to the girls, I'll tell them by myself.

My friend accompanies me in her car to the house then immediately leaves. I look at the car leaving, then return to the door and open it then get inside.

-Where have you been, Jimaima? Dany, who is in the living room, wonders.

-Gone to see my friend, she has a little problem right now. I respond, starting to climb the stairs.

-Stop escaping me like this, what have I done to you? Exclaims the blond, coming towards me.

-This is not your fault, Dany. I retort, stopping on a step. I just want to be alone.

-But why ? I don't understand you anymore! He starts to get angry.

I close my eyes and let a tear roll down my cheek. I have always told my secrets to my brother but it's no longer the case.

-Tell me why ? Insists the blond. I want to know the cause of this sudden distance between us.

I turn to him to ask him to leave me alone when feeling sick overwhelms me. I run to the nearest bathroom upstairs, then empty my stomach.

-What do you have, Serpentia? Asks Carter, using my band name.

-It's nothing, you can go now. I answer but vomit again. I think I ate something that put me in this mess.

I hear footsteps approaching me and my brother supports my forehead and puts my hair back behind my head.

-You lie badly, sis... He sighs, shaking his head.

A moment passes and when I feel I'm not going to empty my stomach, I stand up go to brush my teeth. I am get ready to leave the shower but Daniel grabs me by the arm.

-Why haven't you told me directly? He asks with a deep voice but his anxious tone betrayed him.

-I don't know what you're talking about. I say, pulling my hand to release it. Let me rather go to my room.

-I'm not this stupid to not notice what all these nausea means, since when are you pregnant?

-Jim, what are you?! Yells a voice that belongs, no doubt, to my mother.

-Mom !! Panics my brother. you're back home?

Samantha doesn't answer her son's question and looks at me, rather, in horror. That's it I'm in trouble, thank you Daniel !!

-What the hell I just heard? She yells at me.

-Mom, calm down... Starts my brother. Don't raise your blood pressure.

-Shut your mouth, Dany !! She cries on the false brunette then back to me. Who is the father of this abortion?

-I forbid you to treat-

The sentence doesn't end because I get a slap that sends me against the wall. I pull myself together then face the blonde with hatred.

-Respond to me, dirty whore !! You make yourself down in all the cellars, bitch !!

-Emil Reinke Landers... I spit in her face. Who else could have done it without my permission?

-I doubted it... Shit, I'll call the family's doctor to get an appointment, I refuse this thing to remain in you.

-I am an adult and responsible for my actions... I shout with hatred. I will soon be 19 years old to leave home for good.

Samantha approaches to hit me but Dany gets between us. Then she gets back but still looks at me with that horror glow in her eyes.

-Take her to her room and don't let her out, I'm going now to get your father. She orders, outgoing.

My sickness slips inside you ...

Drowning in my poison

Desperately I hide too from heaven

Now we'll be together

I can make you better

Siphon your pain in me, so I bleed

We remain, my brother and I, like status staring at each other but neither of us has the courage to speak up and say his way of thinking to the other.

Feed your dreams to fishes ...

Lie about your wishes

Eat away at your time, seconds are mine

Sometimes It Seems we're toxic

Wake me up and shock it

My low self-esteem

Can make me scream

-You have to go now, Jim. Says my brother. The darone will not let you without making you abort the baby.

-You think leaving is a good idea? Besides I don't know where to go...

-Find yourself a hotel and avoid your girl friends because they'll seek there first, now run pack your luggage.

It's no way to let them hurt my baby, he did nothing to deserve such grandparents. I have to make a decision fast.

In my tears ...

Don't let me drown

My fears ... Do not make a sound

My tears ...

Don't break me down

In my tears ...

Don't let me drown

I get up from the ground and then smile weakly. The decision is taken, and I can't get back. I will rid the floor...

to be continued...