You changed my life [Rammstein]

Chapter 41: Ohne Dich Kann Ich Nicht Sein

POV RICHARD:

It's been three long months since Paul fell into coma, my children and his family took the news of our secret relationship well, but my Rammstein colleagues are not even aware of it, even our girlfriends.

I feel sinking more and more into depression. Not having my darling with me is making me mad and I don't know how I can live if something bad happens to him.

-Richard, stop swinging stupid trashes from your mouth. I say to myself.

I light another cigarette and look at the landscape that appears in front of me. The night is dark and the only light that comes to me is that of the house I left behind. I lean against the tree and let the memories come back to my mind.

The first memory that comes back is that of our encounter at the beginning of our rock band's formation. It was Schneider who introduced him to us because he was part of his former band. At the beginning, I hadn't accepted him among us fearing that he takes my place as the lead-guitarist.

He had all what the singer needed in a guitarist; A perfect physic, a great mastery of the guitar as he comes straight from another band and a sacred sense of humor that made him my friends' favorite member, although he is the second oldest between us.

But... everything had changed that day...

~ FLASH BACK ~

I feel really exhausted after my late rehearsal session in the recording studio. All I want is a good glass of warm milk and a cozy bed to sleep until tomorrow night.

I go up the stairs to my modest apartment when I notice a mass curled up on itself, in front of my door. I advance, hesitating, and gives it a little blow with my guitar and this one moves.

-Hey, don't hurt me !! Exclaims a voice I recognize. I am not a thief...

-Landers !! I say, helping him to get up. What are you doing here so late?

-I've been waiting for you all afternoon. He answers, holding me the case of the guitar so that I open the door to him.

We enter inside my house and I invite him to pass in the living room while I go to get drinks to us. I go back to him and find him crying on my sofa. It's the first time I see him in this state, without the smile that adorns his face.

-Stop crying and tell me what grieves you. I begin, moving towards him.

-My girlfriend... left me. He says between two hiccups. She refused my help and took our son and slipped away.

-But why ? I ask as I sit beside him. There must be a reason...

-Yvonne is suffering from a deadly disease... He retorts, still crying. I think it was not to hurt me that she ran away.

Paul, the shortest member of our band, throws himself into my arms and begins to cry. For a moment, I stay here without moving or doing anything before surrounding my hands around him and hugging him.

-Don't worry. I whisper to him, comfortably. I'm here to help you find her...

-Thank you very much, Richard. He says wiping his tears. I knew I could count on you and no one else.

~ END OF FLASH BACK ~

We had searched his wife and son for a week before finding only the little Emil at his grandmother's. She had refused to give the child to his father, and had treated him as a less than nothing.