I haven't returned to school since Monday and today is Friday, I just haven't had the courage. I made a fool out of myself on the first day. I thought I would be fine but I'm not. I don't understand.
"Hello sweetie, can you try eating this bacon sandwich for me please." Mum came in. I shook my head then buried myself into my bed. I haven't moved from my bed in days. I'm a failure.
I decided to get up and have a shower. The shower made me feel so much better if I'm honest. I strolled downstairs to see Lucy asleep on the sofa, I grab a blanket and chuck it over her gently. She looked so peaceful. I walked to the kitchen thinking mom will be in there but she wasn't. I wonder where she disappeared to. Mark is rarely ever home because he has way too much work to do. I pour myself a glass of orange juice and began to drink it. My phone buzzed in my pocket. I unlocked it:
Instagram –
@LukeBrooks: Hey, you alright?
I reply telling him I'm fine. I click onto my notifications and see loads of comments on my recent post of me and Lucy saying 'You two look so much alike" "you're gorgeous!" I smiled and placed it back into my pocket. I hear a knock at the door so I skipped to it expecting it to be mom.
"Erm hi?" I said not noticing who it is.
"Don't remember me?" He laughed. Ohhh it's Beau!
"Oh my god, sorry I didn't recognize you," I said snatching his snapback off his head, nodding then putting it back on him. He laughed in return.
"I came to check on you" He looked down awkwardly.
"Thanks, I feel a lot better now. Just a bug" I reply scratching the back of my neck anxiously. It fell silent for a moment.
"What happened in English? Luke's worried." Beau asked. Does Luke care about me?
"Oh, I felt like I was about to throw up so I had to get out, tell him I said thank you" I replied. He nodded and gave me a hug, I felt so safe. We said our goodbyes and he left. That was so nice of him but why didn't Luke come? If he was worried why didn't he come to see me himself?
I lay on my bed. I'm so confused, what is going on... I hate when this happens. I have an anxiety attack and isolate myself from everyone and everything. I grab my phone from my pocket of my tracksuit bottoms, and began to text my mum.
I'm awake and I feel a lot better,
I'm so sorry mom. Love you xx
-SENT @ 8:20PM
Nice to hear from you sweetie, lol.
I'm just shopping at the moment, do
you need anything? Xx
-RECEIVED @ 8:21 PM
Could you get me a salad please? Xxxx
-SENT @ 8:24PM
Mom returned at 9PM so I went downstairs. We had a chat and I told her that I didn't know what happened. She hugged me and I headed upstairs. I walked to my computer desk and turnt it on. I opened a word document and began to type.
I haven't written to myself in a while, so here I am again. I now live in Australia, Melbourne. I am 16 years old currently and Lucy is 17. We settled in very quickly. Mark has been so lovely and brought us so much, I'm so thankful for him. Today is Thursday. Lucy and I met these five boys who are so nice, well from what Lucy told me. I've only ever spoken to two of them, Luke and Beau who are brothers. Jai is also their brothers, Luke's twin to be precise. The other two are their best mates, Daniel and James. All five of them are YouTube famous. Lucy and beau are getting on really well ;).
I went to school on Monday. Form went well and I met some lovely girls. I also met a really hot boy called Kane. He was nice but strange at the same time, he seemed like a complete fuckboy. Lesson one came and for the first half hour, I was fine as I was sat next to Kane. Then Luke walked in and I had a panic attack so I ran out of school. I haven't returned since. I don't know why I had a panic attack to be honest. I don't know what caused it. I'll be going back on Monday and I will be stronger.
Katie Moore.
YOU ARE READING
Torn and frayed
Fiksi PenggemarKatie hasn't had the best of lives. She struggles with depression and anxiety and her sister doesn't help. Her family decide to pack up and move to Australia to hope for a better future. Tragedy after tragedy, will she cope?
