Silence And Sound

Chapter 5.

Monday in school I was late. As usual. In biology we had to continue our work with pregnancy. Amanda wasn't there today, but I was still stuck with Debby and Gabriella.

"Did you read anything at home?" Debby asked me.

"No. Some of us actually have better things to do in our weekends" I said. She rolled her eyes at me. Bitch.

"Well then you have to read it now. I found a great page on the internet, I'll print it out for you" Debby sighed. Why did she act like she was my teacher? She couldn't tell me what to do.

"I'll be back in a moment, I have to go to the toilet" I said and left the table. I wasn't gonna sit there any longer. The bitches could do their project alone if they wanted it like that. I wasn't theirs to boss around. I was walking down the hallway when a voice suddenly called my name. I turned around and saw Zayn.

"Hey" he said and came over to me.

"What do you want?" I asked. He didn't look like the kind of person who would just say hey and then have a polite conversation.

"Why do you think I want something? I just want to talk" he laughed.

"Well I don't talk much, so find someone else" I said and started walking again.

"What if I don't want anyone else? You're special. You're more fun"

"Get over it. I was drunk. I'm not funny. Really" I scoffed. Suddenly Niall stepped out of the classroom. Great. He looked at me and then at Zayn.

"Got a problem?" I asked. He shook his head.

"Oh so it's not just me? You act like this towards your friends as well" Zayn laughed.

"Him? Oh no, he's not my friend! Why do you think that" I asked.

"He picked you up on Friday right? I just assumed you were friends I guess" Zayn said. I couldn't contain my laugher. Why did he think I would ever spend my time on a guy like Niall?

"Yes I picked her up. She called me and she actually slept at my house" Niall interrupted. I stopped laughing and faced him.

"No one talked to you!" I spat. Now Zayn probably thought I slept with him. Like I would ever do that. But of course Niall had to say that.

"But you're not friends?" Zayn asked confused.

"No, we - "

"Don't worry. Alex doesn't have friends. She pushes everyone, who even thinks of being friendly to her, away. It's not just you. If you get her drunk there may be a chance of having a conversation with her, but otherwise you can just give up. She simply can't be nice to anyone" Niall interrupted me again. I was speechless. Niall looked angry at me before he turned around and walked towards the door.

"Wow I didn't know you were that complicated. But I'm up for a challenge babe. Maybe we can grab a beer sometime" Zayn said but I ignored him and ran after Niall. I wanted to yell at him. He had just humiliated me in front of Zayn! But when I reached him outside I didn't say anything. My mouth was unable to form a sentence.

"I am not going to apologize" Niall said. I actually expected him to do exactly that. I expected him to cry and beg me for forgiveness. But once again I was left unable to do anything. I really wanted to scream and shout, but instead, I looked him in the eyes.

"Am I really that bad?" I said, almost as a whisper.

"Well yes" he said.

"I can't be. I mean, a lot of people like me" 

"Name one"

"Well, uhm... There's.. Eh. My mom and dad. I think" I mumbled. He's right. No one likes me. What's wrong with people? I'm a funny and interesting person. Sometimes at least.

"Have you ever had a friend?" Niall asked. Okay I know that I'm not the most popular person around, but does he have to throw it in my face? I really tried my hardest not to punch him.

"I do have friends. Just because my friends aren't as perfect as you. I bet you have like a group of old men coming over to tea every Saturday night. Sorry I prefer friends on my own age" I mocked.

"Where are your friends then? Point them out" he said. He was taking this way too far. I actually never believed he could be like this. I thought he was just some mommy's boy. Guess I was wrong. He's not just a loser. He's rude as well. 

"Okay, I admit it. I don't have any friends. Are you fucking happy now? But it''s not my problem that people don't want to hang out with me" I shouted. It felt great to finally raise my voice. Was he scared now? Was he going to cry? Like a little baby? Or maybe he would say sorry. Not that I wanted his stupid apology. But he probably would. But instead he caught me off guard. Again.

"Maybe if you weren't such a selfish bitch people would start to like you" he said and walked away. I was shocked. Niall had answered back. No one answered me back. Never. Not like that. I sat down on a bench and gathered my thought. Am I really that bad? Am I a bitch? Maybe I'm not as great as I think I am. Maybe Niall is right. 

"Alex, what are you doing? You have to come back in and read this" Gabriella suddenly said. She was standing next to me. When did she come out? She looked down when I met her gaze.

"Okay" I said. He eyes went wide and she looked shocked. I guess she didn't expect me to do it. I followed her back inside to the classroom. When we walked in Debby looked nervous at me. She probably didn't expect me to come back either.

"Where's the thing I have to read?" I mumbled. Gabriella sat down and handed me the papers she had printed out. She exchanged a look with Debby. I felt quite awkward, sitting there with them, trying to act like a normal person. 

"We discussed how we would divide the work between us. We have to turn in our assignment next Wednesday. So we talked about that we could write a page each, and then meet up at Debby's house Monday to finish it together. You can come if you want?" Gabriella almost whispered. It was clear that they were scared of my reaction. I wasn't sure on how to answer that. It would be so awkward and uncomfortable to be with those girls alone. 

"Maybe" I answered. I know I decided to be nicer, but the fact that I hadn't knocked their faces into the table for even asking yet, was an improvement. I looked over at Niall and saw that he was smiling at me. God, could he stop keeping an eye on me all the time? But I couldn't stop wondering if he had heard the conversation between the girls and me. Was he proud of me? Even though I didn't like him, his word had affected me. No one had ever had the guts to tell me how terrible I actually was. A bitch. Niall thought I was a bitch.

(A/N: Sorry for the late update. I just didn't think anyone actually read it and liked it. But apparently some people do. And now I got Christmas break, so I'll have more time to write. Please comment what you think until now. I love you for reading it)