Silence And Sound

Chapter 25.

Alex' POV:

I looked at the clock. It was 10pm. It was fucking 10pm on a Friday night and I was sititng alone in my room! But I didn't feel like going anywhere at all. I just wanted to talk to Niall. Make sure he wasn't snogging some bimbo right now. I wanted him to be happy, but not like this. Not with some chick he just met today! When he told me about her I thought it was just to make me jealous. But now he was on an actual date with her. And if it was to make me jealous, then it worked. Big time. I hated this feeling. I had only felt jealous once before, and that was when I was 7 and my cousin got a bike for her birthday. But this felt worse. It was like when 100 times that feeling from when I was 7. I wondered what he was doing right now. Was he still with her? Did he enjoy being with her? Was she hot? Had he kissed her? I just wanted to call the idiot and ask, but that would make me seem crazy. And I had told him that I was fine with him seeing others. It was my own fault. I had thought this through so many times. Our conversation about us. He wanted me to say that we were either a couple or just friends. I didn't know what to do, because being a couple would ruin everything, and I couldn't be "just friends" with him. I wanted more. I wanted to kiss him whenever I wanted to. I wanted him to hold me when I was sad. I wanted to tell people at school to shut up when they talked shit about him, because no one dises my boyfriend. Maybe I did want a relationship. It hit me like a bus. I did want a relationship with him! For the first time in my life I really wanted to be someone's girlfriend. I wanted to be Niall's girlfriend. For real. It was like a whole new thought to me. I actually wanted this. I needed to call Niall. But he was probably still out. I texted him instead: Call me when you see this. I was so excited for this. He would be so happy when I told him about my feelings. He would forget that bitch Hannah and be my boyfriend. Boyfriend, hmm, weird word. I'd never had or wanted "a boyfriend". I needed to call Debby and ask what she thought about this. She would be so happy!

"Hey Debs!" I said into the phone when she picked up.

"Alex? You sound happy. What's up?" she yawned.

"I'm gonna ask Niall to be my boyfriend" I said.

"What? I thought you didn't want a boyfriend?"

"I didn't. But now I do. I just realized that I want to be with him as a couple! I want to be his girlfriend"

"Alex slow down. Did you just find out right now or? You know you can't just call him and say "Hey let's be together" - It doesn't work like that" Debby sighed. I was confused. I thought she would be happy. She was like our number 1 supporter. She had tried to make this work more than I had.

"Why not? I know he already wants to" I mumbled.

"Alex think about it. You said no, more than once. He got mad and upset. It really hurt him because he really likes you. I don't think it can work right now. And isn't he out with Liam's friend Haley?"

"Hannah. Her name is Hannah. And yes he is. But I just texted him saying that he shall call me when he sees it. So I'm not interrupting them or anything, don't worry" 

"Hmm.. If I were you I would wait a few days. Maybe it's just because you don't like the thought of him with another girl. Wait until Monday at least. And then you can talk to him about it" she said before we hung up. Maybe she was right. Maybe it was just because I didn't like the thought of him and Hannah together. Suddenly my phone rang again. It was probably just Debby wanting to make sure I didn't do something stupid.

"I'm not calling him, don't worry! I'll wait till Monday and then see what happens" I said.

"Calling who?" a male voice said. Shit. Damn old school phone without caller ID. 

"Alex? Are you there? You didn't pick up your own phone, so I called this one instead. I was scared as shit that your mom would pick up" Niall said. I looked at my iPhone. Yes, 3 missed calls from Niall. He had probably called me while I was on this phone talking to Debby. Why the fuck didn't I see that? 

"Hello?" he said again. I now realized that I still hadn't said a thing. Fuck this was awkward.

"Niall? Hey! How are you?" I asked.

"Uhm fine? Was that why you wanted me to call you? To ask me how I was?" he laughed. Why did he sound so happy? Last time we talked he was sad. 

"No... I wanted to hear, eh, how your date went?" I said. Nice Alex. Great question. Really not weird at all.

"It went perfect! Hannah is really sweet and funny!"

"That's great. Uhm, the actual reason why I called you was to hear if you could talk tomorrow? I can come to your house tomorrow night?" I said. 

"Tomorrow night isn't really good. I'm going to a party with Hannah" he said. A party? With her? Already? I didn't know what to say. I thought he would cancel that for me at least.

"Oh" was the only thing I said.

"Can't we just talk now? What do you want to talk to me about? You said you would call some guy, who is it?" he asked. You. You of course, you deepshit. Why can't you see that? 

"Uh, the pizza guy. I wanted to order pizza and I already called him like 3 times to change my order, so Debby told me not to call him again" I said, trying to come up with a believable explanation.

"The pizza guy? Are you ordering a pizza for yourself at 11pm?" he laughed. 

"Yes"

"And you'll call him on Monday or?" he laughed even harder. I felt like screaming. Why was this so damn hard?! Niall must think I'm a complete idiot!

"Yes. Don't make fun of me. Don't you have a party to prepare for or something?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

"Yeah I should probably go to bed. I'm seeing Hannah at 11am tomorrow. We're gonna eat brunch and then we're going shopping. She needs a new dress and apparently I need some fancy clothes as well. It's a party full of rich people, cool right?!" he said. 

"Yeah, really cool. Goodnight Niall" I said and hung up. I wanted to scream and cry at the same time, Why was he seeing that bitch and her rich ass friends? I hated it. I hated that I had rejected him. If I had just said yes when he asked me, I would have been his girlfriend right now! I slammed my head into my pillow. I was mad at myself. So mad. Everything was my own god damn fault!

(A/N: I'll try to update tomorrow again! Hope you like this chapter! Ily guys, please comment and vote)