Silence And Sound

Chapter 17.

Alex' POV:

Fuck him. Fuck Debby. Fuck everyone. I hated them. The only two people I thought were my friends were fucking behind my back. I had run all the fucking way to Debby's house last night, just to tell Niall I was sorry. And then he was about to have sex with someone else! I never thought Niall would do that kind of thing! He was such a good boy. And now I was just waiting for him to call me. Like the pathetic person I apparently am. But he didn't call. 

At night I decided to call him instead. I needed to talk to him. 

"Hey" he mumbled into the phone when he picked up.

"Hey. Can I come over?" I asked, nervous.

"Why?"

"I have to talk to you" 

"No. Stay away from me, okay? You are nothing but trouble" he said and hung up. I just stared at my phone. What had happened to us this weekend? Everything had changed. I decided to call Debby instead. She didn't say much in the phone, but at least she let me come over. I took the first bus to her house and walked up to her front door.

"What do you want?" she asked when she opened.

"Why are you mad at me? You were the one fucking Niall!" I yelled. Well this was going well.

"No I didn't! Niall stopped as soon as you left and he kept laughing, so it was really hard to do anything. I gave up" she said. Niall stopped? So they didn't do it?

"But why? Why did you even want to fuck him? You said you didn't like him"

"Because I was mad at you. And I still am!"

"What? Why?" I asked. Now I was confused.

"Niall told me that you were fooling around with Zayn behind my back... Have you slept with him?" she whispered. Her eyes went wide when I nodded.

"I did. But Debby it really didn't mean anything! And it was before you and I even became friends! It was at your party a couple of weeks ago... And I didn't even want it! He tricked me into doing it" I said. She was standing with her arms crossed and she looked at me like I was some sort of animal.

"That's why I don't want you to date him. I'm trying to protect you" I said.

"Awh really? That's so sweet!" she whined. That's it? No more yelling and fighting? Just "awh"?

"But I really think this is different. He's really sweet to me, and haven't talked about sex at all" she continued. God she was so gullible. But right now probably wasn't the right time to argue with her. She finally let me inside and we walked to her room. It must be so cool not to have your parents around in the weekend. 

"So you're not mad at me?" I asked. She shook her head and sat on the bed. 

"But I don't get why you are mad about me almost sleeping with Niall? I mean, you don't like him like that, do you?"

"I don't know. Maybe I do... But please don't tell anyone about it. I never tell people my secrets, so please don't make it a big deal" I mumbled.

"Oh my god, I knew it! I knew it could happen! Arhh you would be such a cute couple!" she whined and clapped her hands. Damn why did she have to be so annoying? People like her was the reason I never told people about my crushes.

"But he's mad at me, so I don't think your little dream, of me and him getting together, will come true anytime soon.." I mumbled. He was mad at me. And he had every damn right to be. But god, I wished I could talk to him and tell him how sorry I was. I hated to admit it, but this time it was my own fault. If I wasn't such a bitch, we would have woken up next to each other. Then we would have eaten breakfast while being all goofy at the table in front of his parents. And we would have spent the day together, trying to act like nothing had happened the day before. But as we were lying in bed he would have leant in and kissed me. I would have slept in his bed again, my back against his warm chest, and we would have woken up together again this morning. But of course I had made sure to fuck things up. 

"He likes you. I'm sure. Otherwise he wouldn't have stopped me yesterday. He doesn't want that to ruin things between you" Debby said and stroked my arm. 

"Talk to him tomorrow" she whispered. She was right. I had to talk to him when I saw him.

And Monday when I entered our classroom, I walked directly up to him.

"Can I talk to you outside?" I asked. Harry and Liam, who were standing next to us, looked curious.

"No" he said and sat down. I sighed and sat down at his table.

"Niall I'm really sorry. I said so much shit to you. I didn't mean any of that. I know you hate me now, but please forgive me and give me a chance. I want to change for you. I'm fucked up, I know. But I'm starting to realize how much you mean to me, and that makes me want to change" I whispered, so only he could hear it. Finally he gave in and looked at me. 

"Why are you saying this? Why should I believe you this time?" he asked.

"Because I really like you and I want you to feel the same way about me" I mumbled. Suddenly he grabbed my wrist and dragged me outside the classroom. I looked confused at him as he let me go. He just looked at my feet.

"You're a bitch you know? And you are really confusing. First you hate me, then you like me, then you hate me again. What's your problem?" he said. 

"I know.. It's not on purpose. And I wish I could just be normal, but I can't. It's really hard for me. And I'm so sorry I let it out on you. You don't deserve this. And I don't deserve you, I know" I mumbled. 

"Can you please forgive me? This last time?" I begged.

"Maybe... I don't know. Give me time to think Alex" he said. 

"Take all the time you need. 5 or 10 minutes if that's what it takes" I said. He chuckled and gave me a smile. God I had missed that smile. 

(A/N: Sorry for not updating yesterday. I'll update tomorrow again though(: hope you like it, and tysm for 8k+ reads! Please vote and comment! Love you)