Mount Asteria

Chapter Fifteen

Laura knocked on the chaplain's door at exactly four o'clock on Monday.

"Come in."

She entered the room, so familiar to her by now. Little had changed – the ornaments on top of the shelves were different, and the desk was a good deal messier, but that was all.

The simple white-painted walls and faded pink carpet on the floor contrasted greatly with the ornate decor of the rest of the school. The desk and bookshelves were built of pale, uncarved wood – nothing like the beautiful mahogany furniture in the other teachers' offices, and the chairs looked like the sort one would find in a GP's waiting room; comfortable, but not particularly attractive.

Liam was standing behind his desk, a book open in his hands. He snapped it shut as she came in and placed it on his desk, adding to the mess. Laura was uneasy. Not only had she been extremely anxious about their meeting, but now she had also to face a new obstacle: She had never been the greatest fan of untidiness and could already feel the urge to organise the office building up inside her. She took a breath and moved into the room.

"Laura," Liam said with a smile. "Right on time."

She tried to return the smile but it turned out to be more of a grimace. She was nervous, sick. She needed to get out.

Get a grip, Laura, she chastised herself.

"Please – take a seat." He gestured towards the chairs in front of the desk. "So." He sat down once she was seated. He clasped his hands in front of him. "Er..."

She could see he was not entirely sure how to go about things, something which didn't do anything to reassure her.

"How has your first week been?" he asked eventually.

She couldn't keep eye contact. "Oh, fine. The usual. A bit busy, but that's only to be expected."

"Of course. This will be a busy year for you, I'm sure."

Laura nodded in a stiff, restrained manner. This was all so far from the point of their meeting. She didn't like small talk when all it did was distract from bigger, more important – albeit less pleasant – topics looming further on.

"Sixth year can be a tough one," Liam went on when she didn't say anything.

"Yeah." Hadn't he said that exactly the other day? Oh dear, she thought. It wasn't going to work. It couldn't possibly work.

"So, er, what subjects do you study?"

He was going well off course here, but at least it was better than silence.

"English, Irish, some maths, history, political science, international relations, cultural studies, psychology, religion and Japanese." She rattled off the list with ease, having had to recite it for many teachers, guidance counselors and interviewers before.

"Japanese?"

"Yes. I keep up my other languages outside school hours, but Japanese is new for this year."

"What other languages do you know?"

"French, Spanish, Italian, German and Mandarin." Another list she knew well.

"Wow."

Laura shrugged. "One language a year since I started here." She examined the desk; the scrunched pieces of paper littered around, precarious piles of books and files thrown carelessly on top of it all. One of those was her own file, she knew. What did he think he was doing, leaving such important documents scattered around like that?

"That's very impressive."

She looked up, still annoyed knowing he had left her file out on his desk for the world to see. "I major in languages and culture. Less about psychology and all that," she said coldly.

"I did my degree in psychology, you know."

Laura frowned at his tone. He was too enthusiastic about this. He was trying too hard. He was not in control of the situation here. She was. It wasn't supposed to be like that. She didn't want that responsibility, not at this time. "I know. It was in your file."

"You - You read my file?" He asked uncertainly.

"No. I lied. But I could have read it, had Ms de Lacy left it out on her desk or in a forgotten pile of documents, as you have done with mine." She pointed at the said file. "Anyway," she sighed as Liam began hastily gathering the many files and folders on his desk together. "You weren't tempted by theology or something a little more... religious?"

He stopped what he was doing and blinked at her, looking blank. Then, "Psychology sounded interesting and I wasn't so focused on joining the seminary at the time." He opened a drawer and threw in half the contents of his desk, slamming it shut again quickly.

"And was it so interesting?"

"I learned a lot about how people think. How our experiences can affect how we think..." He kept his gaze on her steady and she looked away. So he wasn't totally useless after all. But perhaps she preferred him being useless. She didn't want to talk about this, not with him.

She glanced at her watch. "I should probably go. It'll be dinner time soon and I have some work to do. There's a safe behind the press there where Sr Maria usually put our files. I'm sure Ms de Lacy will give you the code if you explain why you need it."

He looked as though he wanted to stop her, but she was already at the door.

"I'll see you at Mass, on Sunday?" he asked quickly.

"I – er -" The question threw her. "I don't -" What could she say? Pretend she was Protestant? An atheist? "Okay," she said eventually, stupidly. Idiot.

He smiled.

She felt queasy. "Goodbye, Liam." She ran out.