Your all that matters to me...
Ain't worried about nobody else...
•
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The same chorus stays stuck inside my mind.
On repeat.
Does Justin Like me..? Or... More than like?
How could he love a girl like you!? Your so stupid! That's not possible! Your obviously dumb...
I clutch my head hard to get my thoughts out.
I want Justin back.... I just want to hug the life out of him... Kiss his soft lips... And get him alone again...
If only.....
But, he would hate me forever if I rush into things...
I need him to myself...
I need him...
I want him...
Besides, he will only make me tell him more about Jason...
I wouldn't be ready...
If I could just die in his arms...
Like literally.
Die in his arms.
That would be nice.
What is this I'm feeling right now..?
I've haven't felt this in a while...
Am I... In love?
My heart starts pounding... Fast.
Your not in love Carmen! That ridiculous! Your ridiculous! Ha!
Even my own thoughts were laughing at me. All my confidence was giving up on me.
My heart was failing.
It's broken...
My heart is slowly giving up on Justin and the boys...
My heart is slowly breaking...
I can feel it...
It's aching...
Do I matter to him?
...Does he matter to me?
I can't think straight...
I feel like I'm gonna faint.
Why can't I stop thinking about Justin?
Please stop..!
Get out of my head!
I just want to shoot myself right through my my forehead...
Stop it!!
Just grab the knife...
NO!!! AHHHH!!!
I can feel my body slowly inching to the knife drawer.
Stop!!
Stab yourself...
Get the fuck out of my head!!!
I'm screaming inside.
"Carmen!!??" My name echoes through my head as everything I was thinking about silenced.
I'm still surrounded by darkness.
•
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(3rd pov)
Carmen's hand was inches away from the knife drawer. She made a fearful face. Her eyes were closed tightly.
It was seconds before she picked up another knife and began cutting.
Tears streamed down her face fierce-fully. She stopped suddenly when she heard:
"Carmen!!??"
•
•
•
(Carmen's pov)
I open my eyes.
The name still echoes through my head.
All my thoughts and worries were on hold.
Secretly steal a knife... I dare you...
I step in front of the knife drawer and stick my index finger inside. To find out which knife is the sharpest.
"Stay away from the knife drawer please..." Harry sighs as I look into his green eyes from across the room.
"Yeah, you ok Carmen?" Niall speaks up from a mouthful of tacos.
"I'm fine..."
Lie...
My finger started stinging. I bite my bottom lip to keep in a painful groan. I find the knife and grab it behind my back.
I take big steps to the door as they all just stare at me again.
Finally, I reach the door. I push on it and run to Justin's room.
With the knife in my hand.
When I reach the door to his room, I quickly open it to let me inside and lock it.
Finally...
I sit next to Justin's bed. I sit crisscrossed on the floor as I stare at my wrist and the knife.
Do it! Do it now!!
I close my eyes and easily slit my wrist. I groan in pain but it turns into a slight sigh at the end.
Feels good doesn't it..?
Again..!
I cut my wrist again. But it doesn't hurt as much as the first. I wince and squeeze my eyes shut.
All I feel right now... Is pleasure...
I feel like my worries are leaving me.
I open my eyes to find a bloody wrist. The blood drips onto my clothes and onto my bare legs.
A faint smile appears on my face. I sigh as I tilt my head back onto Justin's bed in relief.
But... It's not enough..!
I realize if I walk out like this, they'll know I've cut myself.
I walk to Justin's closet and find a long sleeved shirt. I slip it over my tank top and find some of Justin's sweat pants and put them on.
It's not enough...
•
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•~•
Thank you so much for 6k!
Was that chapter good enough for you guys? I wanted to make it up to you by updating during Winter break! Yay! I need to stop saying that... Merry Christmas! ^.< ~1Dinfection365
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Silently Damaged *Justin Beiber fan fic*
Fanfiction"Jason! Please!!" Jason cornered me against the corner of the room. His hands slammed against the walls, which scared me to death. His muscular arms tightened as I tried to escape, but no use. His fists collide into my face as I crumpled to the grou...
