I decided to do some more since i havnt told the full story yet.
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My mum decided I shouldnt be with James anymore and after 7 months of being together I just couldnt let him go without a fight. I went out with him secretly for a total of five months.
After about a month of going out secretly I got more depressed I couldn't handle the rumors and the name calling ( e.g slut, handy, whore). Like I said in the last chapter I thought James was the only one to make me feel better but one day in the shower I was shaving my legs and without thinking I pushed hard onto my leg and slid the razor so it cut me instantly I felt better. The first cut was just below my knee on the side, the pain was good so I repeated this two more times. It wasnt bleeding too much. For the first time in ages i felt good I was excited for the next day.
At school the next day James asked howd you do that and I said oh just shaving. He wasn't paying much attention so he didnt realise that they were all in a row one after the other.
The next night was worse I cut my thigh in two places I just kept cuttting and cutting those two places until I was yelled at to get out of the shower, when I woke up the next morning I could barely move I was that sore but I just sucked it up and put my dads bright blue plasters on them.
At lunch I was sitting with James (as per usual) and I needed to stretch and as I did my skirt went up showing the plasters James being the perv he is was looking and immediately said what the hell is that!! I quickly said oh that haha I cut it on some metal. He sounded convinced so I just left it. That night he kept bugging me about it I didnt tell him.
The next day I didnt have plasters on the cuts and while we were sitting down James and I were joking around making fun of each other and all of a sudden he stopped and went serious then he pulled the edge of my skirt up and looked at the cuts... well lets just say they looked horrible and he just sat there staring until I pulled my skirt to cover them. He spent the next 5 mins saying that is not from metal they are way to big for that. I realised that I couldnt handle lieing to James aswell as mum and dad so I told him that I cut myself and he looked like he was gonna cry and I said do not feel sorry for me I do not need your pity.
We sat in silence till the bell rang
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Thats all for now cos I swear I heard someone trying to open up the gate and I am shaking. Ill write more tomorrow hopefully..... if I dont get murdered :P
