Today was mums birthday, we had a birthday tea with pudding :)
but now that im the onlu one up I am contemplating wether I should cut or not.... why the fuck am I like this I hate myself!!!
There was once a time when I didnt give a shit about anything I would wear whatever I wanted, eat as much as I wanted and I wouldnt give a shit what people said about me. But now I only wear what is "accectable" I only eat little things and if someone so much as takes a second look at me I think they dont like me.
Just counted how many letters I have from James.... its like 64 letters and three cards. I am going to burn them when I get a chance... it will hopefully help me.
I need mum but I dont want to upset her, its her birthday :(
ugh what can I do.
I definately cant cut or else mum will be really upset.
The saying "out of sight, out of mind" is bull shit cos all im thinking about right now is that pencil sharpner blade that is taped to the top of my draw... its mocking me, it wont be long before it gets what it wants, it always gets what it wants trust me I have the scars to prove it.
