Waiting (a pernico fic)

Chapter 18

AN: This is another filler, I'm super sorry, lovelies. But this is just more about Nico's condition and how he's coping. Warning: this is hella sad. Here we go.

Percy

After Will showing up and saying nothing, Nico retreats even farther away from people. He's constantly worried that Will is going to just show up again and if Percy thought he was a wreck before, he was wrong.
Nico no longer leaves the cabin, ever. He's been inside 24/7 for eight days and he's starting to look even more sickly. Percy stays with him as much as he can, knowing the consequences if he leaves. There's no way he's leaving Nico to his own devices any longer than absolutely necessary.
Being inside and on edge so much has been taking its toll on Percy. When he went to get food for them a few days ago, Annabeth commented that Percy was starting to look like one of Nico's skeleton soldiers. It was true. Percy had lost his perpetual tan and his eyes were sunk in from waking up with Nico and his nightmares almost every night.
However, Percy knew it was worth it. He knew that as soon as Nico started to get better, things would go back to normal. Or at least that's what he told himself. Nico would never be like he was before, not fully. But Percy knew he could get better. Just a month ago, on Nico's birthday, things were the best they had ever been. So Percy knew that Nico was capable of getting better. All he had to do was feel safe.
The problem was that Percy didn't know how to make him feel safe.

After ten days of nothing but the sound of Percy talking to Nico and Nico responding either silently or not at all, Percy snapped. He wasn't angry, he was just tired. Tired of his angel collapsing slowly in on himself. Tired of watching Nico eat away at himself instead of eating the food Percy brought him. Tired of watching Nico slowly dying from the inside out.
"Please, Neeks, talk to me." Silence. "Mi angelo."
Nico looked up from his lap, where he'd been staring and thinking for the last hour. However, he just stares at Percy with mild confusion. Percy looked into his eyes, pleadingly. He just wanted to hear his angel's voice. "Please don't bottle it up."
One look at Nico and Percy saw just how much he had been bottling up. However, it seemed those words were the stone that broke the dam. Nico crawled over to him and clung to him like he's float away, tears streaming down his cheeks. The raw sobs that shook Nico were the first sounds the son of Hades had made since the morning after Will had shown up and weirdly Percy prefered these sounds of pure sadness to Nico's silence. Anything but the silence.
Nico sobbed hard, pouring everything out and Percy clung to him just as tight. He'd never seen Nico cry like this, not even after Bianca, and that was saying something. It seemed that Nico had cried for her, then never cried again, if he was crying this hard. Percy almost didn't want to intrude on this moment but there was also no way he was letting his angel go through this alone.
Without even thinking, Percy started telling Nico all the things he thought about. How much he needed Nico, how much he loved Nico, how he'd stay with Nico through whatever he was going through, no matter what. This seemed to make Nico cry more, but Percy didn't think it was because it made him sad. It seemed like this made Nico relieved, if his body language told him anything, and it made even more emotion pour out of him. Percy kept murmuring all these things as the smaller boy cried himself out. It became a mantra as Nico started to calm down; "I love you, mi angelo. I need you. I don't care what happens, I'm not leaving, ever."

As Nico's sobs turned to trembling then small sniffles, Percy relaxed his strong grip on him. Nico made no move to get up, leaving his face pressed into Percy's tear-stained shirt. He finally spoke and Percy sighed. "Do you really mean that? That you won't leave?" Percy smiled sadly. "Would I have sworn on the Styx if I planned on leaving?" The boy looked up, dragging the back of his hand across his right eye. "I suppose not."
"Besides, how am I supposed to keep that vow if I'm not here to make sure?" Nico gave a small half-smile and shrugged. "I love you. I wouldn't have gone through all of this with you if I didn't," Percy admitted and Nico met his eyes. "I-I love you too." Percy grinned wide and pulled back slightly to see Nico's eyes drooping. "Tired?" Nico nodded and looked all the world like a five-year-old who'd missed their nap. So Percy pressed a quick kiss to his forehead and stood up from the bed. When Nico almost slumped over without Percy to lean on, Percy smiled again at how endearing he was. No doubt he was drained.
Quickly, Percy stripped off the wet shirt and dumped it into the laundry hamper next to the bathroom door. Once he had a dry one on, he brought Nico a glass of water and instructed him to drink the whole thing, then go have a shower. Nico complied tiredly and came back out later with slightly damp hair to find Percy stretched out on their bed, which had clean sheets. Nico smiled small and climbed in next to Percy.
That night, when they slept, neither had bad dreams.

AN: once again, sorry for the shortness lovelies. This is Nico getting all that bad emotion out and I'm just hAPPY MY BOO HAD NO BAD DREAMS BECAUSE YES.
Also, if you're wondering why Percy gave Nico water and changed the sheets, it's from this Tumblr post I read once on how to recover from a long cry so I shall put the basics I remember here for posterity:
1) drink a big glass of water. Your body will be depleted from all of that fluid loss. I mean all of the glass. Then get another one.
2) take a shower and change all of your clothes, all the way down to your socks. It'll make it so you don't feel sticky from the tears.
3) clean sheets always feel nice so if you're up to it, change them. This is optional but trust me on it.
4) snuggle with something, or someone, and do something you like doing. If you want to sleep, that's okay too. But don't think about what had you crying a bit ago.
5) remember you deserve to be happy and that someone loves you and wants you happy.

I hope this helps anyone who needs and remember I love all of you, every single one.
Til next chapter lovelies.
˜Tom