Being The Schools Nerd: The Bullied, The Misunderstood, The Unloved

Chapter five/ feeling blue

"The finest souls are those who gulped pain and avoided making others taste it," -Nizarat

I spent the weekend with the boys at their big house. I got to know more things about them, but I felt like they were still keeping something from me. Multiple times I watched them go towards that door. Every time they noticed me staring at them leave one of them would distract me. I know I sound paranoid, but wouldn't you be if people constantly lied to you? Once your trust is broken there is no way of fixing it. This causes you to be guarded. You surround yourself with fifty feet concrete walls that are three feet thick. Walls that seem impossible to break. Walls that no one will try to climb.

I let out a sigh as I walked out my house. I stared at the intimidating guy leaning against the black jeep. Dark shades covered his pale eyes from the blinding sun.

I smiled sheepishly at him. Not once did he mention my embarrassing moment to the other boys which I was grateful for.

"Hey," I greeted as I clutched my binder to me.

"Ready to go?" he asked as he opened the passenger door.

I looked inside, my brows furrowed as I saw the empty seats. Damon seemed to have ready my expression.

"They'll meet us at school. We had some trouble at work,"

I nodded and didn't push further.

A door slamming made me turn. Zachary was walking out of his house. A scowl was painted on his features. He stopped and looked our way. His scowl deepened as he made his way to his car.

He's angry today. I gulped nervously remembering what happens when he's mad. The punches are worse, the insults cut deeper, and I'm left worse than before.

Damon stood in front of me shielding me from Zachary's deadly gaze. This should have comforted, but it didn't.

"Let's go," he practically ordered.

I nodded and hopped inside the massive car.

"Are you okay Olivia?" he asked as he kept his eyes straight ahead.

I nodded, "yeah, just tired."

Damon glanced at me his eyes burning holes through my skull, he nodded before he turned his gaze straight ahead.

I sighed and looked out the window.

It's funny really how a single phrase can make people believe you're okay. How saying I'm fine or I'm just tired makes someone believe you truly are fine. You can have tears brimming at the corners of your eyes, but with that single phrase people believe you're telling the truth.

You know what's sad? You want someone to know you're not okay. That you're broken, and you're screaming for help with that one phrase, but no one seems to get the message. But you know what's scarier than the thought of no one knowing that you're breaking? The moment someone does know that you're not okay. And when they figure it out you don't know what to do because you're afraid of what they will say, what they will think, and you want to take it back. You want no one to know because you're scared. Ironic isn't it? How something that we want so desperately scares us the moment we obtain it.

"Olivia," Damon's deep voice seemed to draw me out of my painful thoughts.

"Yeah," I asked as I kept my gaze away from his.

"You're crying," he stated as he wiped a tear away.

I brought my hand to my cheek and felt the warm liquid. I hadn't realized I had been crying. Embarrassed I looked down at the large binder on my lap.