when we were young - tofuugaming + hbomb94

XV

{ Alyssa }

I wake up in a bed, one that I don't normally sleep in. It smells like Will.

I shudder as my feet tingle from the coldness of the AC.

"Hey you're awake."

I look up and there is Will in the doorway.

I slightly smile at him...just slightly.

"I made breakfast, if you don't feel like coming down yet I can bring it up here on a tray. You know what I'll bring it up here anyways-"

"Will, I'll come down with you. It's ok don't bring me food, just let me get up first."

I haul myself out of bed with a helping hand from Will.

Oh....I guess I should change too.

"Do they know?" I ask Will suggesting to what happened last night.

"No."

"I wanna keep it that way. Turn around, don't turn around I don't care. I just need to change."

I pull on a pair of sweatpants and a shirt before telling Will to turn back around if he was already.

"Ready?" He asks me as he takes my hand.

"Yea...." I say kind of wanting him to not let go. To never let go.

"I'm sorry this happened....I'll never let you go through that again....I should've been there." He says and stops before the stairs to look at me.

"It's not your fault....don't blame yourself please."

I guess he could see how much it was hurting me to see him blame himself so he smiled.

"I won't anymore, sorry."

"If anything...it's my fault. I should've done something. Kicked his ass or something, but I couldn't. I'm an idiot-"

"Hey, it's not your fault either. I could see the pain on your face. You were paralyzed and it wasn't your fault."

I sigh and try to listen to him, but I blame myself. Not him.

He places his hand in the small of my back as we come downstairs to see everyone in either the living space or the dining area.

"Hey! You're up! How was your sleep?" Joe asks as he comes over to me.

"Ok I guess..." I say with a shrug of the shoulders.

"What's wrong? Are you ok? Did something happen last night?"

"Yeah uh.....I was sexually assaulted...last night."

"I uh I...are you ok?"

"I'm.....getting there."

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

"Not particularly no."

"I don't want to force you. I want you to be ok when you're ready."

I slightly smile at him as he moves a hair out of my eye.

"It's ok, you can go get some more rest before we have to head back home tomorrow."

Will walks back upstairs with me and I go up to my temporary bed that's cold because it hasn't been slept in in a little,

"Hey Will?"

"Yea?"

"Could you get Liam? Thanks."

"Alright."

A couple minutes later Liam shows up at my door with a concerned look on his face.

"Are you ok?"

"Not really but....I'll be ok."

"Well want to talk about it? Whatever it is."

I was gonna say no, but I guess talking about it is the best option?

"Yeah sure...uh come sit down, I mean if you want to. You don't have to-"

He plops down next to me before giving me a worried hug.

"What happened last night? You haven't been yourself since."

I tell him everything, up to when I fell asleep in the uber that is. I end up crying on him and getting water marks all over his shirt.

"I'm sorry, your shirt.."

"It's just water, I'll be ok. I'll always be there when you need someone to cry on. So it's ok." He's too sweet to me. "I want you to get some rest ok? It'll be ok, I promise."

He hugs me tightly and I just know I'm gonna miss him as much as he's gonna miss me. Which is a whole lot.

We talked...we talked for a long ass time too. Mostly about how he can't do a long distance relationship and neither can I. So whatever we have going on right now is cool with me.

I don't know if it's friends with benefits or what but I'd like to keep it that way.

"You're so beautiful."

"Liam, I'm in sweatpants and a T shirt."

"And? You're still beautiful."

I blush a little before he pins me down on the bed and kisses me with I guess knowing that he won't see me for a long time.

Sharing a little intimate moment maybe for the last time.

I don't know is this is wrong but in this moment I don't care either.

To fall asleep in ones arms for maybe the last time.