Black Crest

A Bittersweet Reality

Chapter thirty-seven

If anything world could feel heavier than my heart in that moment, I would have fallen down to my knees and cried at the fact that something like that existed.

I watched the coffin lower into the grave while heavy rain kept filling it up like a little pond. Everything was silent around me, my vision covered in black while my gaze stayed focused on the black coffin that was now barely seen.

The shelter that was placed on top of it, to prevent the grave from filling up with water, was falling apart bit by bit under the pressure of the raging storm.

The one thing I always liked about the rain was that you could cry in it and no one would ever find out. Your tears mix into the rain water like sugar and tea. The only thing that told the tears apart from the cold rain drops was the warmth of them, trailing down your cheek like ghosts of the tears that you knew were there.

And in that moment, I felt that warmness rolling down my cheeks, making the rest of my body tremble from the cold that the rain brought to me.

The hollowness in my heart grew to be greater by every drop of soil that was put on the coffin.

I felt it. I felt the pain and loss, ebing away at my heart, tugging it all different directions in unstoppable attempts of tearing it.

The hollowness kept filling in as the soil got high enough. The last bit of it, consumed my heart, as the last bit of soil was poured on.

"Sierra"

I turned and looked at Clinton, who stood behind me with an expression of deep grief. I could see the tears brimming at his eyes, which he refuse to let fall.

Stepping forward, I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him, letting my tears flow freely down my blank expression.

"Don't do it."

I frowned at his words and looked up at him.

He reached up and rested his palm on the side of my head, giving me a sad smile.

"He's gone now, there's nothing we can do but remember him. Don't close yourself away Siea, we all are hurt from the loss but we can't stop living because of it. Jacob wouldn't want that now would he" he spoke with a slight crack in his voice.

I could see that he was trying his hardest to not cry and I respected the attempt he made at trying to speak some sense into me.

So I nodded and stepped back, letting him move on to share his grief with his brothers.

"He's gone isn't he..." I whispered, knowing that Carter was right behind me.

"Yeah.." I got a reply.

I knew he was always around me when I wasn't in my senses or when I was bound to get into trouble somehow.

I turned around and looked up at the boy that I had never desearved to be with in the first place.

"He won't be back will he?" I asked again, forcing myself to believe that the events were real.

I forced myself to believe that Jacob was indeed gone. The jolly man that always looked like he could live on for a 100 years longer. Gone in the matter of a few days.

The very man that I somehow felt like I was related to.

I casted my gaze back down at the wet ground beneath us. The rain had stopped. The word quientened around me once again. Everything slowed down to a stop.