Love Is Madness«»Joker Bwwm

Chapter Six

I knew the moment I looked into your eyes, I'd have to swallow all your lies

Adrianna's Pov
"Okay, okay." I rushed out my words while pacing my room it was dark outside, each star twinkling like they were dancing the night away. The moon was so bright it filled up my room to the fullest. Night time truly the best time.

I was trying to think of how to approach climbing out the window and on the roof top, I wanted to at least be outside for at least an hour maybe more than that tonight. It was the only chance I had to just get a breath of fresh air and not feel like every little move I did was sending me to my death.

J and Harley were on a date night whatever the hell that meant which gave me a little time to myself and thoughts. Tonight is the night. No holding back.

I chewed my lower lip harshly, almost brought to make it bleed, then quickly I tiptoed to my door and pressed my ear on the door. I held my breath closely trying to hear the noises outside the long hallway.

I didn't hear much, the two guys who were usually by my door made the most noise, gossiping. So I just took that as I sign. I breathed a small sigh, I moved away from the door, moving back. I shook slightly from the edge of the window, stating out the window. I then slowly slide it up and pushed it up to open it all the way up. The breeze hit me like a harsh but amazing slap on the face. I took a breather.

I let each breath out it's a long fall I thought bitter like, no don't think about it, focus. I squeezed my fist clutching and unclutching it. my pace was slow like, but I leaned out the window I need to grab the ledge I thought and with a shaky grip.

I grabbed it with my right hand then put my left using all my upper body strength I could muster out, I pulled myself up with a harsh groan. A a grunt then followed out long after.

Don't look down, don't look down I chanted "now I just need to pull myself up." I mumbled.

I did it a bit to quickly and slipped, just slightly making me yelp out. I bite my lip to silence myself. Need to keep quiet. There now I'm outside finally.

At a quick pace. I climbed up so the way letting a breath J didn't even know I was holding out. I gazed around amazed like with pure awe.

"Wow, it's so high up." I breath slowly smiling when I felt the breeze, it was so cool.like against my warm skin. I let my arm hang out, a small little laugh leaving me slowly. I tried balance out on my feet to walk on the roof without slipping. I wanted to scream out, to squeal all from happiness. It felt so nice it moved my skin softly.

I smiled sadly. Like a bird I thought smiling brightly a smile I haven't felt in a while.

I kept walking on the long roof, taking.I'm details. I made the mistake of looking down making the thoughts go wild.

I wonder what falling feels like I bet it's hurts when you hit down. Its been so long I've gone stir crazy with the house almost mad.

I slowly sat down on the edge looking down just like what I was told. In life you're a nobody will be a nobody and you'll be second in life in front of everyone. A single tear fell from cheek, the emotions being over run. I covered up my face and cried quietly. Just letting it out its been building up for a while.

My body shaky that's all I wanted was to be something to someone be a somebody. Or.maybe... Just anything.

I took a hard Inhale through my nose and let the breeze blow the tears away from my face. I leaned forward more to get a look out how high I was.

The sight made me nauseous and everything I swallowed it down though then I shut my eyes.

"Somebody that's what I want." I mumbled looking down at my legs and swing them watching them dangle on and about.

I looked quickly when I heard small noises laughs from the guards and whatnot making me sigh yet again.

For about an hour, I stayed up there and then I looked when I heard the loud laughing from two people I know all too well.

"Puddin it was so fun." I heard Harley call making my eyes widen and I peeked at her, her dress it was really really pretty diamonds was it? J smirked her way.

I could see all that from up here and I quickly got up. Well it was a good hour let me clear my head and also cry out a bit. I need to enter so I can get in my room and then act like I've been asleep.

J stopped walking for a minute and then looked at the roof with such fast eyes. I had ducked really fast and well even before he looked at the roof.

"What's wrong?" Harley called out, I kept covering my mouth.

"It's nothing." J answered her quickly I stood up and ran almost slipping on the roof then quickly pulled myself in and shut the window.

I dived into my bed and covered my head with my blanket over me keeping breath calm. I kept my eyes closed. soon it was easy acting asleep when the door open slightly loudly the light turned on and I heard J speaking to whoever was with him.

"She's still here boss why are you freaking out?" The voice called J growled.rough like.

"Someone was on the roof are you sure she was here the whole time?" J snapped out.

"I'm sure I made sure." The voice called and J growled one more time but then left shutting the light off I took a breath the other person was still here.

"Thank you." I called to him softly and they sat on my bed lightly and they rubbed my back once "you're welcome I won't tell." He whispered.

I smiled under my blanket and shut my eyes Don't let fear control I'm not letting fear control I thought.