Forever and Always is Complicated (UsUk Fanfiction)

Chapter Twelve

Alfred's POV

I woke up to the sound of my phone vibrating next to me. I groaned, checking the time on my alarm clock before grabbing my phone.

"What the fuck? Who's up at 6 am?" I whispered to myself, trying to keep quiet so Arthur didn't wake up.

I looked at the Caller ID on my phone only for it to be who I kind of figured it to be. Francis.

I slowly got out of bed, phone in hand, and quietly left the room, closing it behind me; answering the call.

"Hello?" I tiredly answer.
"Alfred! Sorry if I'm interrupting anything! I have news!"
"No no it's okay I was just sleeping, that's all. What's up?"
"Sorry mon ami, good morning to you. But the news is, you have a modeling appointment I booked for you, it'll be for my new line of suits and let me tell you all about them you're going to love them-"
"Now? Gah, Francis when?"
"Five days from now, Alfred."
"And where?"
"Hollywood, California."
"Exciting."
"Oi, I can't wait! I'll see you then mon ami!"
"Goodbye Francis, I'll see you then."

I hung up the phone and put it in my pocket, opening the door quietly, only to see Arthur cross-armed in front of the door.
"So you're leaving again huh?" He asked, I shrank down a bit.
"Yeah, business trip. You can come you know. You're always allowed to, I don't understand why you don't.."
"Because sitting in a stupid room all day while you're in front of a green screen for hours is not my cup of tea. It's boring Alfred. Couldn't you just say no and stay here?"

"I'm the only one with a job, if I don't do my 'boring' job, we don't have money. And who are you to say my job is boring? It isn't. And you're never there with me when I have to go out of state, so what's the big freaking deal? You don't have much of an argument here."

"I'm not arguing with you right now."
"No, this is intriguing. Do you not like my job?"
"No, male modeling isn't interesting in my opinion."
"Oh, but female modeling is? Are you even gay how does that make any sense? It's a fucking profession. My profession. So take it or leave it, I'm not going to change my job just because it doesn't interest you."
"I said nothing about you getting a new job! God where did that even come from?! You make no sense!"

"You're clearly implying that you want me to change my job. I liked it when you'd come with me to my gigs, it meant a lot. Because I thought you actually cared. But behold the truth comes out! You've never cared about my job. You always thought it wasn't interesting or boring in that manner."

"God you're overthinking everything again! You're making me sound like a bad guy! I'm not! I'm just saying in it going to go to Hollywood with you! That's it, take everything else out of this, it's irrelevant!"

"That's not all what this is about now! You are so ungrateful! I'm the only one supporting the house! I'm the only one bringing money in so that you could be pampered and special! I'm apparently wasting my time!"
"Don't start that with me!"
"Start what? What the fuck am I starting?"
"The pitying! You want to make yourself seem so special because you work! Good for you! Good job! You work! You stand still and let pictures be taken of you! Great job! You're supporting us! Woohoo!"

"Oh here you go again the same only thing all over again. God some things never change.."
"What the hell do you mean?"
"I mean you're being the same cranky asshole you always are!"
"I'm not always a cranky asshole you bloody wanker!"
"Then what are you right now?!"
"UPSET WITH YOUR STUPIDITY."
"WELL I'M UPSET WITH YOUR ASSHOLE FACE."

Arthur paused, clenching his fist before unclenching it. He bit his lip, dropping to his knees, a low sob came from his throat.
"Goddamn it Alfred.." He choked out. I stepped back in confusion, not knowing what was happening.
"God-fucking-dammit Alfred. We're doing it again. We're doing it again... I'm sorry.."

I looked down at Arthur again, the anger slowly leaving me, my heart slowly breaking as his cries got louder.
"I'm sorry.. The fighting.. We're fighting again.. No.. I can't.. Alfred forgive me, I'm sorry. I don't mean what I say.. I promise, you're job is good, I'm happy you're supporting us and I feel bad that I don't have a job and..and.."

I shushed him and picked him off the floor, pulling him into my arms slowly. It was just like what had happened when we'd first saw each other after a year and a half just a month or so ago..
"Arthur shush... It's okay.. Trust me, it's okay.. You're still great. The fighting isn't going to continue, I promise. I'm not going to go through loosing you again. I won't let it happen. I love you Arthur.. So so much, I'm sorry. Now shh, quiet your cries.. Just.. Come back to bed with me, okay? We'll talk about it later, we need our sleep."

Arthur silently nodded his head, we walked back into our bedroom, I shutting the door once more.

I walked over to the bed and laid down, Arthur was staring out our window.
"Arthur? Arthur, come to bed. It's too early.."
He looked over at me and nodded his head. He walked over to the bed and lied down, away from me though.
I put my hands through his hair for a moment, he didn't move.

"Goodnight Arthur, I love you."

No response, and soon enough I fell back asleep.

Arthur's POV

I wasn't able to fall back asleep like Alfred was. I stayed awake, afraid. I didn't want this to start again. I don't want this to happen again. I just won't let it happen.

Alfred slept soundly next to me, I sit up in a sweat, deep in thought. Because if I sleep, it'll just happen again. Every dream, every argument. That's all they've been. I don't sleep as much anymore really, for fear that I'd wake up and Alfred wouldn't be there anymore.
This, was my biggest fear. I couldn't imagine it. I'd only remember.
So every night while Alfred is sound asleep, I'm wide awake, tears streaming down my face. Because I'm too afraid that it'll happen again, and I'll loose my forever and always.
And I can't loose him again.