Forever and Always is Complicated (UsUk Fanfiction)

Chapter Forty-Five

Alfred's POV

Arthur spent the night that night.
It was all part of this plan I had quickly thought of whilst he was over.
Get him under the influence enough to not be able to drive.

We partially did it for Elizabeth, she really needed it. She adored seeing us conversing nicely to each other once again.
Just like good times.

Arthur had since returned home with a small hangover, like myself, and a sore body.
Okay what did you expect from us drunken idiots?

No. I do not believe this will change our status. We will most likely remain separated. It's saddening to think about. Easily one of the last times I could ever have sex with him.
Yes that's more of a travesty than you'd know.

He smiled, and his smile was something I will never understand. He's beautiful. He's perfect. He tells stories with such a charisma.. It's something I can never compare. I love this man. Do I care if I can't have him?
Hell yes.

Arthur's POV

We had sex.
We fucking had sex.
Goddamn it Alfred.

When I had arrived home I easily took like three showers. I felt so unholy.
But I also felt bloody great.

So what? I had sinned. I yearned for the feeling. I yearned for his taste, his love, his compassion. The way he held me..
I missed it so much. I missed him so much.

I know that he was trying. He tried to get me into his bed all night.
Truth is I was already there really.

I sat at the table, staring at my burned cereal. I try being innovative and what do I do?
Bloody burn my cereal.
Fuck you Pinterest.

Ideally, I would have given up. I would have just thrown it away and say: Fuck it!
Kinda like my marriage.
Hurts doesn't it?

I set the bowl on the counter, I'd get to it later. I sorely waltzed to the telly, watching the celebrity news. Not like I wanted to, but it got in the way of Project Runway!

But, there was something different here. I don't know, it didn't feel right.

Alfred's POV

I stared at the television, sort of at a loss for words.
I immediately grabbed my phone, dialling his number. Because yes, some people call instead of texting. And call me a gay teenager, but I missed his voice.

"Alfred? What're you doing?"
"Is Project on?"
"No..? The shitty news."

I nodded slowly, "Remember when they broke the story about the split?"
"Of course, I still have the episode recorded. So instead of watching The Notebook or Titanic, I watch that if I need a good cry."

...Arthur, that isn't normal whatsoever. I do that too! "Arthur what the fuck."
"Why are you calling Alfred?"

"They caught you coming out of the apartment, so they're speculating us getting back together. Which is weird because you'd think it's just you dropping Eliza off? Like that's a normal thing parents do when they're split. But nope, right to the sex." Silence on the other line..

"Why can't anyone mind their own damn business? It's an invasion of privacy I tell you!"
"God I love it when you get all flared up.."
"Alfred!"
"Sorry!"

He groaned, sighing. "Okay. Like the separation you have to be careful going anywhere. You're a big time model now Alfred..They won't just let this go."
"You're logic seems fair, but what about shopping?"
"Have someone, not Francis, run you groceries. Like Feli or something. It'll take maybe a week to decimate. Just be careful and don't let anyone bombard you alright?"

I nodded before quickly realising I was on the phone. "Oh, yeah yeah. You too."
"I will, I'm going to go. I have to shower for the fourth time today."
"Why?"
"Because I've sinned, now let me go."
"Okay, love you."

Fuckity fuck. I did not just say that wow that's awkward I mean maybe it isn't and he would totally just realise it was an accident even though it was half an accident! Or maybe he didn't hear me? Oh hell no that's impossible I'm a boisterous POS.

"-Alfred?"
"Yeah?" I snapped out of my thoughts.
"I said I love you too. Then you just went quiet, are you alright?"
"This isn't right...we're supposed to be separated? Now what the fuck are we?"

I heard a low sigh from the other side. "I've wondered the same thing, we're together, but we're not. We had sex but we aren't quite lovers. We're taking a break, that's how I explained it to Elizabeth. She thinks we're gonna be so quick to get back together."

"I wish it worked that way.." I said almost inaudibly. "Arthur here's the thing. I want to be seen together with you, I want us to go on dates and kiss and hold each other and have actual meaningful relationship stuff. I don't want to be split up anymore, I don't want my own place, my own bed. I want my own husband back."

There was another small bout with silence. I felt my heart was beating so fast, and I thought I was going to drop my phone my hands were shaking.

"We just...we just need time to correct our mistakes. I told you, I wasn't done either. I don't want to see other people and I don't want to have to go through with leaving you. I still of course, and will always feel things for you. However, we were at a very bad time. We need some time apart."

"You need some time away from me! I tell you I want to be with you again, I pour my heart out, and you tell me I need time away from us. Arthur, I did. A year and a half, and I've grown a lot since then."

"It's not my fault you struck me! I'm afraid you'll just do it again!"
"Or are you just afraid you're going to screw up again and the changes aren't able to be fixed? And we have to actually go through with it and divorce. Because then you know you've really lost."

"You're being ridiculous."
"No. I'm being honest."
"I have to go, I'm not dealing with anymore of this. Goodbye Alfred."
"Yeah."

Once he'd hung up it was my chance to completely implode. I was distraught. I love Arthur, why is it we always get in fights? It's so unhealthy. And we didn't always used to fight so much. I was clearly the problem right?

I took a shaky breath, regaining myself when Elizabeth came to me. "Dad? Are you okay?"
"I'm alright. Daddy and I just got in a little disagreement."
"Oh, so you're crying about it?"
"Elizabeth, some people handle emotions better than others. Like...well remember when Aiya died?"
"And you hid in your room for a week?"

I glared, "It was four days. But yes. You see, I don't take bad news well. I get pretty emotional pretty fast."
"So you're a crybaby?"
"No, crybabies are snots who cry if a light turns on. I cry when something sad happens, because I care about it. Sound a little better now?"

She just shrugged, going to grab my phone, "I'm playing your games."
"Jesus, ask first. What type of manners are you being taught?"
"Nothing by you."
"Elizabeth Rae!"
"What?" She asked, and she had this cocky little smirk. Little bastard.

"You're just as bad as Daddy."
"I am not! He's a monster when it comes to that stuff!"
"Funny, he said the same thing about you."
"Go to your room." I groaned, rubbing my temples.
I'm going to age very fast with this one.