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I've accepted the fact that I might die in a year. Will die, Alex. Don't get your hopes up high. And at times I've been tempted to end it early. I've been keeping a diary; here's what I felt like one day;
I'm done. I hate everything. Especially that f***ing idiot who told me I have a year to live. Who does that? The worst part of today was at the skatepark. I still have a cast on my foot from my injury, so when a new guy came along and did a grind on a skate rail, everyone cheered for him. If I had my bike and no cast, I would do a handlebar grind to prove that I'm better. And what compounded the problem was the fact that my bros, 'cept Ethan, all said that the new guy was better.
I don't see the end of this. Pain, stress, I have more than you will get in your lifetime. Emotionally, I'm alone. Mentally, I'm exhausted. Spiritually, I feel dead. Yet physically, I smile. Grayson asked me the secret to my happiness even though I know when I'm gonna die. Obviously, everyone who knows me well knows that my happiness is a twisted, broken, corroded mask. He didn't. He really is slightly low on the IQ scale.
So I realize; everyone I don't know thinks I'm a happy person when I go out and I have it all together. What they don't know is that I'm dying on the inside. Quite literally. I'm very depressed and don't have it together. I'm fading fast, as a personality.
My last vestiges of hope are drained, and it's time to say bye.
Grayson's POV:
Something weird is going on; I run to the bathroom and open the door. Oh, no. My heart's racing. Alex's is too apparently. There is blood everywhere. And all from Alex's arm.
"911! My friend's bleeding to death! HELP!"
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Cliffhangers forever! And 115 views. Amazing. Super short chapter today, and I'm sorry about that, but I'm trying to open up a new view to the story. Alex has traditionally been happy-go-lucky, but sinking into depression can change the way you talk and write. When i was writing that last part, I was kinda weirded out, because I dunno how to talk about depression.. I don't have it.
I'll ask my best friend. And if you're reading this, you know who you are. =D
Bye guys!
YOU ARE READING
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