To the moon and back (pete x patrick x Joe x andy x oc)

Ch. 13

*warning: has suicidal thoughts or actions*

~ 2 hours before ~

Patrick's POV~

I don't see anything.. it's all darkness. now there's a light and I reach for it. but I start to hear something.. at first I can barely hear it.. then it becomes clearer and clearer

"Patrick?"

Again

"SIR?"

and again, louder

"Patrick?!"

I open my eyes slightly.

Only to feel a heaviness in my chest and my muscles tense.

Sleep takes over my mind once again.

~ Present ~

Jamie's POV~

I finally decide to wake up and go to the bathroom, before I make my way to the shower I look at myself in the mirror.

Gross

Ugly

Fat

No one could ever love you

Bitch

Whore

Slut

You don't deserve love

Who could ever love you?

Look at you

Your nasty and fat and a whore

I can't help but think all these thoughts as I stare at myself in the mirror.

I strip my clothes and stare again.

"What's wrong with you?

I ask myself.

"Why are you like this? Why are you so ugly and worthless and fat? I don't get it, you've been starving yourself for a week and your still a fat ass."

I shake my head and get in the shower.

I realize, I've been doing the exact some thing every morning for about a month.

Wake up

Talk crap about myself

Get in the shower

Cry and clean

Get out

Freak out

Cut

.....

It's strange to finally realize this has been going on and I just noticed.. yea, well I'm stupid.

~ after shower ~

I get out of the shower with the same thoughts in my head, and I can't take it anymore.

I start digging through my drawers till I find it.

I put it on the counter and just stare at it..

I look at my phone and notice I have 7 messages from Pete. Oh well.

I'll check them later.

I grab it and run my fingers over the smooth, shiny thing in my hand. I lay it on my wrist.

I like the cool feeling it has. I like it a lot actually.. I pick it back up and slide the sharp side across my wrist. first slowly then faster.

Again, faster

Faster

Faster

Again

Again

Faster

Again

And again

Yes.

Finally, blood. I put my arm over the sink and watch the blood run down the drain. I pretend my drips of blood are real life tiny people trying to run away from life.

Sorry blood, hate to break it to you, but it's not thet easy. Trust me.

The drips slowly stop coming and my phone starts to ring and I'm a little slow getting to it because of the loss of blood I just had but I do answer it.

it's pete.

"Pete?" I say

"Jamie! it's Patrick, get to the hospital like right now!"

I hang up with out saying bye, wrap my wrist, it's a little loose.. oh well I'll fix it later. I'm in shorts and a tank top but I don't really care and just slip converse on. I get to the hospital as fast as I fucking can.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

HEY! I UPLOADED!! THREE CHEARS FOR ME!

HIP HIP... you were supposed to say hooray....

Lets just pretend thet didn't happen..

Sooo, I uploaded and I probably will be uploading quite a bit this week because my dads works so I will have nothing better to do than sleep, eat, and write/read.. oh wait.. whet am I saying? Thet's all I ever do cuz I have no life. 😆😆😆😆😆

ANYWAY. TILL NEXT TIME!!