As a reader, there are things I will judge heavily (and not so heavily) when deciding what to read.
Writer Profile
Cover
Blurb
Any parts in your book that occur before the first chapter
The first chapter is a make it or break it for me...
(Not their cover, just a text box that got a little out of hand)
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Cover:
Overall appearance
That's a shit ton of color right there. Well, I see this is an anime fanfic, so I'm going to guess the color works for the genre.
Likability
Something about anime creeps me out. Animation in general. I have a mild fear of it. But I can hardly judge it on my fear of cartoons.
Final Grade and final thoughts
The only thing I would really change on your cover would be to make your author's name larger. I can't really see it well. But the rest works. Font and color both mesh with the background.
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Blurb:
He stood before me, red hair tussled and orange eye glowing. His heterochromatic eyes meeting my purple ones. His request... Well actually his order, rolled smoothly off his tongue and took me aback completely.
He'd said it once, twice, three times. Yet I was still dazed. Really? Me? Is he being serious?
I mean it's not like he knows that I used too... He can't know though, it'll ruin everything. It's not as if anything came from it anyway. Even though he did like my drawings.
But when someone like him asks someone like me to become the manager of one of the greatest high-school basketball teams in Japan, after everything that happened in the past, how can I refuse? What's the worst that could happen?
Overall appearance
Decent length, but it doesn't appear to be a blurb.
Breakdown
Okay, so blurbs are written in third person, present tense. This one is in first person, but regardless of that, doesn't feel like a blurb. It feels stuck between the world of blurb and excerpt. It feels like it doesn't really know what it's meant to be. It's not written poorly, just doesn't fit.
It also gives the opposite feeling of the cover. They don't mesh.
Spelling and punctuation
His eye is orange? And he only has one? My condolences to him.
Freakin purple eyes? I'm guessing this is the cost of trying to understand anime.
'That I used too' what? And switch to 'to'. (The whole paragraph this is in is a bit confusing)
'It would' not 'it'll'
'Asked' not 'asks' (tense switch)
'Could' not 'can' refuse
Final grade and thoughts
As I find out later and make note of, this is an excerpt and not a blurb. I can't mark it nicely because of this.
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Chapter one:
Overall Appearence
Your quick intro has typos, which doesn't look good.
Breakdown
Correct punctuation! You must be after my heart.
Ah, so it is an except for your blurb. Yeah, don't do that. We need an actual blurb. One major thing people detest about a blurb is having strictly an excerpt. And I didn't see an order or request written anywhere.
Spelling and punctuation
Only one question mark or exclamation point. That's it. You don't need more.
If your doing character thought and not dialog,
'What is he doing here?' Rather than, "What is he doing here?"
"Better not talking to him...Otherwise I don't know what happens." I don't know what this means. The language is confusing.
Spell out numbers below ten.
Likability
I feel like it hops into it too quickly. Instead of the time skip, I'd like to have a chapter without this guy and get to know the character a little bit.
Final grade and thoughts
I was left feeling like I was missing some huge piece of the book. What the hell did I miss?
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