First Impression Reviews- CLOSED

Perci Snickedy

Cover:

As this is part of a series, I'll take that into account and notice the covers mesh well together. They are simple (possibly too much so), but are clear. 

Blurb:

If you create the ultimate weapon, it may choose to turn on you . . .

When a young woman snags Lawrence Croxley from the train station, he soon realizes that being late for work is the least of his problems.

She plans to use his access to CNN's cameras in order to warn the public of a massive syndicate--and their sinister plot to take over the world's governments. This syndicate will do anything to stop her, and that includes killing her and Lawrence both.

Fortunately for him, she's anything but ordinary.

As he becomes further tangled in this global conspiracy, he learns just how deep it runs. And when the fate of the world is quite literally placed into Lawrence's hands, he is forced to decide who will live and who will die.

Overall Appearence

Nice size (that's what she said). The only thing that ever bugs me about this blurb is the first line. It always feels just a little off. 

Maybe, 'They created the ultimate weapon and now it's turned against them.' I don't know. 

Spelling and punctuation

I'm not sure the double dash is needed. 

Tangled= entangled (maybe)

Likability

I think a few of the sentences could be stronger, but it pulls the reader in. It makes me want to know more about the characters and makes me curious about their journey.

First Chapter:

Overall appearence

Italicized thought overload. 

Breakdown

It kicks off with action, which is awesome. You waste no time introducing people to your characters. 

But I feel like with the scene being a train station, there should be more of a visual. It's right on the border for me. 

It feels like half of those italicized thoughts are really needed and they become a bit distracting. 

Spelling and punctuation 

👌🏼

Likability

I effing love how little you use dialog tags. You avoid using repetitive words. Nothing feels unnecessary. 

You also finish off with a very short, yet welcoming authors note. 

I think if a few of those inner thoughts would get taken out ('what is this' at the end), this could be a perfect chapter. Just the quantity makes me wonder if you were used to writing in first person before this series.