Old-Tailed-Fox

115 5 7
                                    

Profile:

Hey oh what's up my name is...Fox or Old-Tailed-Fox. (there sounds much more cool that way). I'm glad you made it to my page it's not the prettiest but it is welcoming to all. Stay awhile maybe read a book or two *cough*cough*. Oh and before you get comfortable let me mention one thing. Welcome home!

First Impression

Honestly a bit of an eye sore, but at lease you hinted toward that.

Breakdown

Rewrite it. That's what it all boils down to. Get rid of it and start again. I feel like you are a kind hearted person on this profile, so keep that essence and just ditch the words. 

First paragraph- Who are you and why are you here (on the site, not on the planet)? What do you love about writing and/or reading?

Second paragraph- What can you tell your readers about yourself that would entice them in? How will they be able to connect with you and connect with your books?

A profile should be written like a blurb. You need to show people who your main character is (you) without listing off personality and physical traits, then you need to pitch your work, giving them just enough to want more.

Spelling and punctuation

On the upside you didn't spell anything incorrectly. On the downside your punctuation is nuts. Some will say this isn't a huge deal on a profile, but I judge a writer based on how they write, whether in a book, profile or in a thread. 

Final grade and thoughts

You didn't give me a pet name, so thank you for that. That actually matters enough to me to raise your grade a little.

 That actually matters enough to me to raise your grade a little

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Cover:

First Impression

So when I read the blurb, this is the sort of cover I imagine in my head. Instead, I see a something that immediately makes me think it's a science fiction book rather than a fanstasy/adventure.

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