The Art Of Seduction ✓

|38| Numb

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"Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it."

J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire.

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NO ONE TEACHES you how to feel. No one warns you that your body can only take so much. I wrote a letter, apologising to Kaden. I didn't tell him I was leaving after I finished this year of school. I just apologised. I didn't ask to be friends, or for a second chance.

I didn't deserve it.

And I didn't want to hope.

So I lived, and slowly as Winter's ball drew nearer, as Rekha and Grace got more and more excited for it, I tried faking it. But all I saw was Kaden. I saw him when I sat down for lunch. When Rekha, Grace and I carpooled to school. With every book in the library. With every paper I sat down for and with every boy I spoke to. 

I didn't want to feel like my heart was always being pulled out of my body. I didn't want my heart to stop painfully when I saw him. I didn't want to hide out in the toilets crying because everything had changed. 

"So," Joey was standing by my locker, a stack of books in his hand. He looked reassuring, confidently so. "I was wondering if you're going with anyone to the Winter's ball?" 

"I'm not going." Because I'll see Kaden and there's no fucking way he won't be the King of Winter. I forced a smile on my face, "I'll be busy."

"C'mon, you're nominated to be the Winter's Queen, didn't you live for it?" Joey asked, "And we could dance again together."

"Joey," I said softly.

"We'll go as friends," Joey said gently. I almost wanted to go but at the back of my mind lay green eyes looking so betrayed.

"I really don't want to go."

He kind of deflated for a bit, but then he smiled, "That's okay, do you just want to hang out then?"

"Shouldn't you be there?" 

The warning bell rang. He followed me as I walked towards my classroom, unnecessarily taking a longer route because I didn't want to bump into Kaden. I didn't want to see him. I saw Tassia and Tallah, the two girls walking into their classroom. I couldn't bring myself to feel angry, all I felt was deflated, unable to feel anything save pain. 

"It'll be fun spending time with you," Joey bumped into me lightly, "Come on, Am, just one night of fun."

"Joey," I turn to look at him, "I have feelings for Kaden."

"I know." 

I swallowed, glancing at his brown eyes, dark brown hair and wondering why he was still nice to me. The first time I told him about the bet, he stormed away angry but it wasn't just a bet anymore, I felt things for Kaden now.

"And I know both of you are a little hung up about it, but it won't last forever," Joey touched my arm, stroking it gently, "I just don't like seeing you so upset. I'm just doing this as a friend, Am, please?"

"Okay." I whispered. 

Joey smiled, "I'll pick you up at six."

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THE PLACE WAS nothing short of loud. Music, loud and invasive was prominent in every space. Lights of every colour flew around. Thankfully the place was not crowded, there were few people dancing but most sat around the bar. Joey's arm rested gently on my waist.